Handsome Lives at My House

It is not even daylight. The alarm goes off, and I nudge my husband to quickly dismiss it before it wakes our sleeping toddlers. I have been up at least three times in the night with two sick little ones. As I roll over and snuggle back under warm covers, he sits up and throws his legs over the side of our bed. His day has begun.

It will be completely different than my own. His day will be full of co-workers and bosses. It will be full of listening to and following orders. He will advise, supervise, and meet deadlines. He will spend every hour of his day on someone else’s clock. He will give every ounce of himself physically to provide for our family. He will do it today and tomorrow and until in old age, his body protests.

When he is done working, he will put in hours as a servant of the community. He will train to become a better fireman, and he will spend hours listening to complaints and discussing business as a city councilman. The free moments of his day will slip away until there are only a few precious ones left.

But he wont use them for himself. He wont meet up with friends or have a beer with a buddy. He will come home. He will give the last of himself to his wife and his children until the exhaustion of the day takes over and gravity wins the fight against his eyelids.

After the kids are tucked tightly into bed, I will find him in a chair or the couch or our bed with the remote slipping from his hand, and rest finally washing over his weary soul…. until the alarm goes off tomorrow.

My husband is a hunk.

It’s not because he’s on the cover of a magazine. He likely won’t be listed in GQ’s most attractive men for the year – (but y’all, he should.)

The truth is…

Chiseled abs or the “right” amount of facial hair don’t define handsome. I could care less about his haircut or the cut of the suit. His arm size, waist size or boot size don’t add up to handsome. Yes, his eyes and his smile might have won my curiosity, but they didn’t win my heart.

Handsome – well, real-life handsome lives at my house.

Real handsome looks like arms that hold a tired wife and happy children.

Real handsome looks like endless sacrifice because he wants to provide for us.

Real handsome isn’t cocky, but quiets fears with calm confidence.

Real handsome has plenty of time for wrestling super-heroes and brushing princess hair.

He doesn’t have to be asked to help. He doesn’t have to put-down to feel big. He doesn’t take for granted the hearts that he holds in his hands.

Real handsome looks like coming home – boots by the front door, a briefcase on the kitchen counter, a suit coat replaced by a t shirt.

When Hollywood or some confused author try to tell me that handsome has something to do with how controlling or persuasive a man can be… when Magic Mikes and Christian Greys are presented as acceptable examples of attractive men…I won’t forget real handsome.

I will remember 6:00 am and the alarm going off. I will remember this important truth that real-life handsome is measured by wiped tears, calmed fears and sacrificed years. It searches the Word and holds tightly to the Lord.

It is crowned by dedication. It is adorned with dignity. It is humble. It is trustworthy. It is safe.

Real handsome lives at my house… and I bet… handsome lives at your house too.

To my sweet husband, thank you for being you… Every single day.


  • Tabatha Miller says:

    I have been following you for about a month and touched on numerous occasions. However, this post has put into words my thoughts since the dreaded Valentine’s Day was around the corner. A box of chocolates and a vase of flowers pales in comparison with love like this and the kind my husband demonstrates daily. Thanking God for good men who show the love of Christ through the dedication you talk about. Excellent!

  • Robin says:

    This is a very sweet post. It’s really important to tell our husbands how much they mean to us and all they do for us is appreciated. I can totally relate to this post. I have a husband who is handsome in all those ways too. At times we get frustrated at one another but overall I’m smitten. Thanks for reminding me to focus on all that he does so I can stay home with our baby girl. I am going to tell him today how much I appreciate him.

  • Jodi says:

    Love this.. Thanks for sharing.

  • Shannon says:

    Wow… awesome… wonderful!

  • Jackie says:

    One of the best articles I have ever read. Such a fabulous reminder when we are tempted to take for granted the best thing that ever happened to us! Thank you for your wise insight.

  • dana says:

    Love love love your blog !!!! My husband leaves at three am every morning too! But we don’t have children yet.

  • Chelsea says:

    I just found your blog. What a great post! I love how proud you are of your husband. These days it’s popular to put down our husbands and not appreciate how valuable they are to their families. Reading your post was like a breath of fresh air that there are still wives who love and appreciate their husbands!

  • Abby says:

    On Facebook, you asked how many people had read this post. It’s actually the first article of yours I read, and the one that got me hooked on your amazing blog. I haven’t gotten to marry my version of handsome yet, but it’s coming soon. I live a half hour away from my rancher fiance and only get to see him a couple times a week for a few hours at a time. And I can’t help but brag on him.

    My version of Handsome is blue eyes with a special sparkle every time a healthy calf is born and whose heart visibly breaks every time there’s one that doesn’t live. It’s no sleep for three days without showers or shaves and barely any time to eat, but still finding energy to spend time with me. It’s calling me every night before bed just to say he loves me and leaving random voicemails on my phone, saying he hopes I have a good day. It’s opening doors for me [and the next six people behind me]. It’s humility and respect around others; it’s gentleness, especially with the elderly or very young. It’s helping the lady with the toddlers maneuver the stroller across the street and up the curb. It’s the willingness to help wherever and whenever needed, putting things he needs done for himself aside. It’s a man who’s met flaunt girls and strippers because of his willingness to talk to anyone who needs a listening ear, but is still amazingly proud of the girl he has on his arm. That those worldly epitomes of “beautiful” and “sexy” have no call on him and he has eyes only for me – reminding me daily I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. And meaning it 100%.

    I could write an entire book on what Handsome looks like in my life, but it resonates in a young, Christian man who cherishes me: what my mom prayed for for 27 years. It may have a slightly crooked nose from high school sports, it may be a softer body than the 3% body fat average from his wrestling days, but I can’t wait till I’m blessed enough to get to marry the most Handsome man in my world.

  • Amy says:

    Handsome lives at my house too! My amazing, wonderful husband works hard to be a provider, protector, and all-around superhero. There’s nothing like be cherished by a man who makes taking care of his family (on many different levels) a priority!

  • Sarah steele says:

    Handsome lives at my house also! Beautifully written!

  • Kaitlyn says:

    Real handsome DEFINITELY lives at my house too!! Boots included! =)

  • Casper says:

    I have been trying to find the words to tell my boyfriend exactly this – but you’ve hit the nail right on the head. His handsome comes from the way he takes care of me when I need to be taken care of, the way he takes care of his mom and his siblings, the way he goes out of his way to help anyone who needs it. His handsome comes from gentle smiles, unwavering loyalty and dedication. I have never been more proud to admit that the man I love is truly handsome.

  • linda says:

    That was beautiful, for sure, but at my house the one working is me. I want to be the one home with the kids and cooking dinner. While on maternity leave, I was the model wife and mom. My husband stays home. He cooks and cleans, he gets to spend his days with the kids. I work nights. I sleep days, with the noise. I do more laundry than I can stand, I do baths and bedtime stories. And while hubby sits back to catch up on some tv or computer time, I am trying to catch a nap or shower before work. Handsome lives at my house too, but most days I dont even want to look at him. I’m not really that bitter, it just sounds that way.

  • Christi says:

    For me, sexy is brown. My hubby works crazy long hours delivering packages to people all over. J comes home and still makes time for me and the girls and our son when he is here (J and I would glady have him forever, but his mom might protest.) Thank you for this reminder, the world truly has the wrong idea of sexy.

  • Michelle says:

    I like your article. I think your picture is a good ideal of what a husband should be like, and I certainly appreciate all the work my husband does. I do, however, know many women who do not live with a man like this and I also know that its not like this perfect picture every day. I think an added beauty to both husband and wife is our ability to overcome eachother’s weaknesses. That is the only thing I’d really add. Because when you’re not that perfect wife, or he’s holding a tired wife *and unhappy kids, or he’s not that perfect husband and you spend the whole evening keeping your day to yourself because he doesn’t want to hear about it. When that tomorrow comes and you both work towards being better. I think that’s also a sort of beauty.

  • kara says:

    This is so true! I am a new mommy and I am at work..and I swear iv cried the last 10 minutes reading all your post! you couldn’t say any of this better:) God bless you!

  • Brittney stone says:

    This was truly a beautiful post. Becky you are such a wonderful person who knows how to share true life with everyone who needs some inspiration. Thank you for sharing this. And I pray that your words will shine because people like me need to know that there are good people in this world.

  • Sara says:

    This is something that has been on my heart a lot lately but I didn’t really know how to express it. This is completely perfect! Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Brooke Schmidt says:

    Well, i’ve cried three times in 30 min reading your blogs. I LOVE IT!

  • I’m not even a mom yet but this post brought tears to my eyes! I admire your love for your husband and am so glad that there are others who appreciate their husbands as much as I do. Thanks for your sweet words and good reminders!

  • Handsome not only lives at my house but I was fortunate to have been by and around several. I have posted a link to this on my blog with added comments. Thank you so much for showing the world what handsome really i.

    My blog is at http://theclutteredsoul.com

  • Brittany says:

    I wanted to say your words brought tears to my eyes. I really have not been appreciative enough of my husband.

  • […] Handsome Lives at My House. Mine, too! :) […]

  • Nancy Lester says:

    Your post are so heart felt and so realistically true that I myself now look at my husband in a very different way! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective on your real life situation’s. You are very inspiring to me!

  • Richard says:

    I’m a husband and I read this and was moved. Thank you! My wife sent me a link to another awesome write up of yours and I happen to notice the link to this one. I sent this one back to my wife and she loved it as well! Thanks again for bringing a smile and refreshing reminders of how blessed we are to have each other. Cheers!

  • Sean says:

    My wife just shared this post with me on my FB page.

    I cried. We’ve had a difficult time, lately. But, God has carried me through it. And, he’s really challenged me to love my wife better in a way that’s more considerate, patient, and understanding that I thought possible.

    So, thank you for writing this.

    Sean in Seattle, WA

  • Esohe says:

    Great piece, thanks for the reminder. However,as our society evolves, more women are now having to be mothers as well as work to support their husbands, to them too I say kudos.

  • Erin says:

    Incredible! Can’t wait for this love, be it in marriage or religious life!!

  • Lara says:

    This article is absolutely on-point. Love!

  • Sunni says:

    This post is so perfect. Fantastic to see praise of the great men God has blessed us with.

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