To the Lonely Mommy


I guess I just didn’t understand how someone could never be alone and yet still feel so… lonely.

I remember the day that I quit my job. It was in the back of my heart, but I wasn’t quite sure that that I would go through with it. When my son was born, there was no doubt in my mind. I just wasn’t going to be able to leave him… Ever.

I brought my new baby in to see the rest of my coworkers and Daddy who happened to work at the same University. I showed him off in his little orange and blue puppy dog onesie – my sweet boy.

Honestly, I remember more about what my son wore and how precious everyone said he was than the actual conversation I had with my boss. I think he saw it coming before I did.

So, I went home, and I stayed at home.

I was still at home 9 months later when I found out that I was expecting again.

I was still at home 4 years later when I found out that I was expecting our third.

I am still at home today.

I know that this isn’t a choice that fits all families. I know that this isn’t an option for many. I have been given one of life’s greatest blessings – to be constantly present in the lives of my children from the moment they were born.

But what I didn’t understand 4 years ago when I decided to go home, was how lonely the life of a stay at home momma can be.

No one tells you that part.

As a matter of fact, most people don’t ever talk about it.

But some days, are just lonely.

It was especially difficult in the beginning. I had two babies under the age of 18 months. I was constantly busy giving them my full attention with absolutely no break. Neither of my children could have a conversation with me. I didn’t have time to talk on the phone except shortly. Play dates were more stress and struggle than they seemed to be worth, and at the end of the day, I had no energy to see friends (who seemed more like a nice idea than a reality.)

As my children got older, friends became more of a parenting support system. I would get together with girl friends, and we would talk about our children. We would talk about our struggles and our triumphs. We would encourage one another, and then, we would go back home.

Yes, I had been around other people, but it didn’t feel like anyone really saw “me.”

As a matter of fact, “me” seemed more like a nice idea than someone I really knew anymore… and that… That is where the loneliness lived.

I was just the mommy pushing the grocery cart. I was just the mommy driving the van. I was just the mommy carrying the sweet little baby or holding the toddler’s hand. No one paid me much attention except to ask about my kids. I gave all of my attention to my children, and it seemed like everyone else did too.

I felt guilty about feeling so alone when I got to spend all day with the sweetest children in the world. I felt guilty for just not wanting to be in charge for a minute… to have someone call me “Becky” instead of “Mommy.” I felt guilty for feeling sad when there are so many mommas out there who would love to spend all day with their babies.

But the truth is, I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way.

I know I don’t speak for all, but I think if I sat down a room full of stay at home mommas the majority would say, “There are days when I just feel lonely.”

Sometimes, knowing that we aren’t the only one that feels this way can bring a little hope.

So, to the tired momma who might not hear this often,
You’re not alone. It’s okay to not be okay some days. It is okay to say that you miss friendship. It’s okay to say that there are some days you don’t love your job. It’s okay to say that you’re not always happy.

It doesn’t make you a bad momma. It doesn’t make you any less. You’re going to be okay, because even on the days when you feel the loneliest… the Lord never leaves your side.

His eyes never leave you. His presence never leaves you. His love never leaves you.

He sees you – not just the mommy, but His daughter. He sees the hours of endless love you pour out. He sees the weeks of sleepless nights. He knows the worries. He knows the fears. He hears your heart, and He loves you still.

And my prayer for you, sweet friend, is that you would feel His love surround you. I pray that you would experience hope overtake you. Where you might have run dry, I pray that He would fill your heart with peace. I pray that you would never doubt the continual love of your Heavenly Father, who sees and knows and cherishes you just as you are.

It is okay to feel lonely some days. But the truth is, even on our loneliest days, the Lord never leaves our side…

Comments

  • Brittany says:

    I can SO relate to this. I don’t know how it is possible to be lonely and to want nothing more than to be left alone at the same time–but such is the life of a SAHM! That’s part of why I love blogging so much. Gives me something to be other than just “mom”–though I write about my kids so… lol!

  • Sarah steele says:

    Thank you for writing this. It really touched my heart. I felt like The Lord used you to speak to me. Being lonely is how I feel most of the time.I am a stay-at-home home school mommy of 4, ages 8,7,5, and almost 3.

  • Shannon says:

    Beautifully written! I see many of my friendships fading because life is changing and I miss those, however, the relationship with my children is one that will last forever and this is what drives me! :)

  • Laura says:

    I feel like this a lot more then I should. My husband doesn’t understand. Friends think I have the best job in the world. I do believe I have the best job in the world to be able to see my kids everyday. It would be nice to just have a time out.

  • Steph says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It is encouraging to hear that others struggle with this. I honestly think I have more lonely days than not, but my husband is gone about 4 days a week right now, so I don’t have much adult interaction. I was just talking to him the other day about how I don’t feel like I have friends anymore. Our conversations are about our kids when we’re together. We also talked about not really knowing who I am anymore. My interests have changed, but I don’t really even know what they are. It’s so challenging, yet there is joy in motherhood…as long as I see Christ. It took me almost 2yrs to see it. But I had no joy and didn’t enjoy my children because I didn’t see Christ in it all. He is here. He is omnipresent and I must talk to him all the time to remind myself that He’s here.

  • Kiah says:

    I can relate. I stayed at home with my two kids after my second son was born. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. With my first son I worked part time a couple hours a day and my parents watched my son. It was nice. When my second son turned two I decided to work part time at our church’s preschool so my first son could go to pre-k there. You know what? I still get lonely even though I’m with an excellent co-teacher all day. It is hard working with children all day and giving them love and attention. It takes so much out of you. So whether working or not loneliness creeps up. I feel exhausted and unseen many days. Being a teacher to 2 year olds is hard. Being a momma is hard. Fitting into the ever changing role of parenting a infant,baby,toddler, little boy is hard. But I’m not giving up. Thank you for reminding me I am not alone. And that we all struggle.

  • Jaclyn says:

    As a single, thirty-something full-time career woman and graduate student, since graduating with my undergrad, I’ve slowly watched my friends get married off and start families, leaving me all by my lonesome to support myself in the great big world – these are choices my friends, no grass really is greener. Life just has a funny way of happening and unfortunately we have to go through these seasons and adjust our sails accordingly. Comparison, however, really is a theif of joy and when we “wish” for this person’s life or “think” this other person has it better, we are being ungrateful and robbing each precious, God-given moment of its worth. But no matter my days, I thank God for where He has brought me and I choose to see His will, His miracles and the reason why He has me where He does. No matter the victory, no matter the struggle, I always remind myself that, “this too shall pass.”

  • Wendy says:

    All I can say is thank you. Thank you for putting into words how I feel yet could never quite express. Thank you for letting me know others feel this way. And mostly, thank you for helping me understand it is okay to feel this way and giving me guidance on dealing with it. Thank you!!

  • Megan says:

    WOW! That is my word. And, THANKS! My other word. :)
    Becky, you are so amazing! You tell life like it is, and in the process of doing so, help so many of us SAHM’s feel a little less lonely. I forget to go to God with my loneliness. And, I love being at home, and yet, I no longer know who I am. Who I am has become lost. And, it’s sad. My husband and I had a conversation just last weekend and I asked him what his wife is good at. He could think of only two things. One of which was being a good mom. And the funny thing, I could only come up with the same two myself. Being a SAHM is rewarding, and yet, it can be very lonely at the same time. Thank you for reminding me, no, telling me, to go to God. That He will be there for me, always is. And that, I am never truly alone if I choose to reach out to Him…..

  • Amanda says:

    Thank you for these encouraging words! I needed to read this more than you know! I am sitting here crying as I read this because I really needed to relate to someone who felt exactly the same way. Keep up the good work of God. God Bless :)

  • Laura says:

    Beautiful post. It took me a long time to realize that my unhappiness as a SAHM was really just loneliness. And to realize that it IS okay to feel lonely – normal even! I actually wrote a post that’s pretty similar to what you’ve written, about my revelation that motherhood is a very lonely journey: http://www.oaklandavenueblog.com/2014/01/motherhood-is-lonely.html Thanks for writing and sharing your heart!

  • Steph says:

    Once again, you’re speaking the words bouncing around in my head. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I have to go back to work this fall, so I’ve only had this one incredible year with my daughter. She is my one and likely my only, so this year was important to me. Sometimes, though, I still feel exactly as you’ve described. Sometimes I miss me. This fall, I know I’m going to miss her. I think that’s what makes it so hard… I don’t want to take a single precious day and waste it on feelings of myself, because pretty soon these days will be gone forever. It helps to know that what I’m feeling is totally normal, and that feeling that way doesn’t take away from what I’m doing today, with her, right now.

    You are so wise and I thank the good Lord that you speak His word. Many blessings to you, Miss Becky!

  • Kelle says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I had a conversation with my husband in tears because of the guilt I had over not being thrilled to be a SAHM. My son is my world and I love him so much; no one ever tells you how lonely and isolating it can be. I love reading your blog for the encouraging words and the hope that I am not alone in my feelings. Keep going girl! You are speaking hope to many! God Bless!

  • Heather says:

    I wish I had your gift of writing! I’m also a stay at home mom of a three year old and 7 month old… I hate to admit that I have these days more often than not, but you are right; we are truly never “alone” and for that I am forever grateful!

  • Jessica W. says:

    I was just talking to my husband about this yesterday! This was exactly what I needed to hear. I could feel God’s love through your words. Your inspiring words reminded me how much God loves me and how much He knows me individually. Thank you so much for your inspiring and uplifting messages! We are never alone :)

  • Dian says:

    As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I wanted to thank you. I have been touched by several of your posts. However, this one in particular touched me. Yes, I am a mom that often feels lonely. However, I have also felt like I am struggling with my faith walk. Thank you for the reminder.

  • Jessica says:

    My heart didn’t know these words were what I needed to hear. Thank you for this encouragement.

  • Emily says:

    So needed that. It’s like you took the words right from my soul and then filled the loneliness with a bucket full of encouragement. Thanks for the blessing!

  • Kaleena Edwards says:

    This is exactly what I needed. Thank you!

  • Shannon says:

    Thanks for writing this. I am a single mom to 7 wonderful children and I feel lonely often. I dont get any time alone. It’s nice to know I am not the only one.

    God bless you all.

  • Jodi says:

    This is so true. I have been home for 17 years, and we move all the time because of the military and I home school. Sometimes you feel all alone and like who notices or cares. Love this. thanks for sharing. Love your writing.

  • kathy says:

    I remember the days of isolation & loneliness of when my children were little. Now with the youngest in 11th grade, I have felt the same isolation & loneliness of caring for my elderly mother. I also remember the same feelings when my husband was homebound because of illness when the children were in grade school. Life at any stage can put us in lonely places. I have learned to use them as a reminder that I am never alone, because God is ALWAYS with me, with loving arms wrapped around me. Sometimes I feel lonely because He is calling me to be ALONE with Him.

  • Courtney says:

    I’m a full time working mom, and I can tell you that these feelings exist me too.

  • Tara says:

    I was so glad to see this and read this. Sometimes we think we are the only ones that feel this way and that no one can relate. Its hard to find anything other than loneliness even though we are taking care of our children and family. Thank you for speaking out!

  • Joy says:

    Very good piece of writing. My oldest is 37, my youngest is 19. Being a SAHM homeschooling is a fulfilling and challenging life. I have been a single SAHM. for the last 14 yrs. Now that’s challenging. I often feel that I don’t have the time for my children because I have to be everything and still working at home (and coming up with ideas)to make a living. My phone hardly ever rings anymore with anyone wanting to really talk. If it does its mostly just people wanting me to listen to them. I pray for young mothers when I see you juggling your babies in the store. A lot of us older ladies really care about you young ones and it really blessew us just to see the smiling faces..or crying ones, of your sweet children.

  • Kelli says:

    This came right on time for me. I’m not a stay at home mom, but I’m a first time mom. My husband works long hours and when he comes home, he eats and then sleeps. I find myself feeling like I’m the only one taking care of our new addition. Getting used to the new baby routine, lack of sleep, and being at my little one’s beck and call 24/7 has been a challenge to say the least. There have been many tears at 2am when I just can’t figure out why she’s still crying!

    I started to think that maybe my mommy button was just a bit off and that I’m doing this all wrong, but what you said really spoke to and encouraged me. It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one who has felt overwhelmed or lonely. Thank you for the reminder that we aren’t alone because HE is always by our side.

  • Melissa says:

    Thank you. I read your blog regularly and it always seems to be right on time! I’m a single working mom and sometimes I get lonely too. If I’m not at work then I’m with my minime. When I’m at work I miss my minime. But even still I sometimes miss me. I wouldn’t trade a moment with her because she is truly the best thing to ever happen for me and I know that God selected her off of a shelf that had my name inscribed when He delivered her to me. Yet, I do get lonely.

  • April Burris says:

    I didn’t even realized I needed this until I started reading it and I cried. Why is it so hard to talk about? How is it possible to be surrounded by 5 kids and my husband and still feel lonely? Finding someone safe to be honest with is hard! Thank you for writing my heart and putting it out there! And thanks for the reminder that God sees me as I am, not just as a mom!

  • D says:

    Oh, this post was perfectly timed! For 10 years I have been trying to articulate this to my husband. Tonight, I passed him my tablet and had him read. This is how I feel more often than not. I am a SAHM of four:9, 7, 5, and 2. I also am an extreme extrovert who lives in a very rural area – I don’t have a neighborhood block to even walk around and we don’t live near family . I would love to hear any country mommas share their ideas to “break” the loneliness cycle. Thanks for sharing your stories and reminding me that God is always present.

  • leslie says:

    Wow…. I totally relate to this. I know that in the last year I have really struggled with this. I haven’t had a friend in years, they all feel off the radar when i was pregnant with my first. I can honestly say that me and my husband haven’t been out without the kids more that 20 times in the last 7yrs, I really cant even remember the last time we were alone. We are always together as a family, which is great, but sometimes I just wish that my husband understood what I mean when I say that I need a vacation away from kids and even him, I just want to be free to be “ME” a normal 28yr old for a while… not that I know who I am anymore besides Johnnys wife or Momma..but still it would be nice just to be free to do as I please without having to consider everything that goes with kids and what they want/need. I have struggled with this for the last 7yrs and it just seems to have gotten worse this past year.I feel like I lost my self somewhere along the years and I dont know how to get her back or figure out who the new me is…. I dunno. But Im so glad that I am at least not the only momma out there that is struggling. Thanks a ton for this Post!

  • KG says:

    You should be thankful for all your blessings. I would give anything to be in your shoes with three beautiful healthy babies. Instead, I sit here very lonely. More lonely than you could ever imagine. My husband and I tried and tried and finally got those two pinks lines, only to have our newfound happiness ripped away in an instant. I miscarried. So next time your feeling down about constantly being surrounded by the great love of all, a child’s, remember all those Mommys out there that are trueky lonely. God bless you and your family.

  • Cindy says:

    While I can appreciate the lonely feelings you may have, please remember that many of us moms that don’t have the choice to stay home also deal with a variety of emotions. There are other feelings when working full time: guilt and stress to name a few. After working a long 9 hour day filled with stresses from work, I commute for 1 hour, pick up my three kids from daycare, rush home, cook supper, clean, do homework and try to fit in a book before bedtime. I usually have to skip the book based on the time. I would love nothing more than to stay home with my kids, get to make a good meal, have some fun time after school but before homework. But no, I get to pick up crabby and tired kids, rush through the nite and crash into bed only to get back up again 6 hours later and start over. I get frustrated when I read things like this…you have the best job ever – enjoy it. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy not having to worry about work while you’re at home with your kids. So frustrating! I apologize for the rant and I realize it’s poorly written, but frankly I don’t have the time to proofread or fix to make it an easier read.

  • Theresa says:

    While I can appreciate the lonely feelings you may have, please remember that many of us moms that don’t have the choice to stay home also deal with a variety of emotions. There are other feelings when working full time: guilt and stress to name a few. After working a long 9 hour day filled with stresses from work, I commute for 1 hour, pick up my three kids from daycare, rush home, cook supper, clean, do homework and try to fit in a book before bedtime. I usually have to skip the book based on the time. I would love nothing more than to stay home with my kids, get to make a good meal, have some fun time after school but before homework. But no, I get to pick up crabby and tired kids, rush through the nite and crash into bed only to get back up again 6 hours later and start over. I get frustrated when I read things like this…you have the best job ever – enjoy it. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy not having to worry about work while you’re at home with your kids. So frustrating! I apologize for the rant and I realize it’s poorly written, but frankly I don’t have the time to proofread or fix to make it an easier read.

  • Perfect words for this season of life. xo

  • Bek says:

    Thanks for your encouraging words Becky. I am a full-time Mummy too, and know exactly what you are talking about. How refreshing to know that our Lord is always by our side though, and we are never alone :-)

  • Sandi says:

    Thank you for writing this. I can identify SO much with these feelings. I have 2 great kids, ages 10 and 5. After the adoption of the 2nd one, my husband left for 8 months in Iraq….me, alone with a 6 year old and a 17 month old with significant medical problems that needed addressed. I called my mother EVERY day, just so I could have an adult conversation. Once he came home, we moved, and then his job changed and he got sent to Afghanistan….once again alone with 2 kids, the younger one now in PT,OT and speech therapy 4 times a week to address the developmental delays. I often wondered why I felt so depressed, lonely and sad while I was finally the one thing I always wanted to be….a mom. Thanks for putting a voice to us.

  • Andrea says:

    Beautifully said, thank you for sharing this so eloquently.

  • Maralee says:

    I had the same emotions – now I am on the other end, 1 has moved out for college, #2 son is a Senior next year and #3 two years after that. I feel lonely now b/c I don’t have the constant chaos. They are off doing their own thing and I am left to my own devices. Now is the time I should embrace getting friendships back on track and doing more things together – but once again we find ourselves, as mom’s – alone. Enjoy the times you do spend with people, even if it’s just parent talk – at least you know you are not alone in your feelings. It happens in stages, there will always be another stage, or another child going through another stage, but keep those connections with your friends – because you will come out on the other side of this thing called parenting – and you will need them just as much then – as now.

  • Jessica says:

    Thank you, so, so much. We just relocated with 3 kids 4 and under. New town, new everything. No family. I feel this. I know it will all be ok eventually but now, it’s hard. I forget that no matter where I go, the Lord who loves me is always by my side.

  • jeana Rojo says:

    You have brought me to tears. I have felt so alone the last few weeks. It has been almost unreal how alone I have felt. I was a stay at home mom when my daughter was born 4 years ago, then had to go back to work when she was almost 2. I worked for a year and felt so good about myself, I was in such a great place for my own wellbeing. Once I got married and moved to the other side of the country to be with my husband who was military I, once again, became a stay at home mom again and have been since. For the past few months I have been so sad and couldn’t place why. After reading this I can see why and I am glad that I am not alone. Thank you for writing this, you have lifted my spirits, brought a smile to my face and a little bit of peace to my heart that I am not alone and that what I am feeling is ok. Thank you so much, God Bless you!

  • Lyndsi says:

    Thank you. I really needed this at this very moment.

  • Kaela says:

    Words from my heart! Thank you for writing these words and letting people read them.

  • Rachel says:

    Thanks! I needed this today!

  • Janelle says:

    For a full time working mom, it isn’t much different…I just juggle another hat during the day and never have enough time to catch up on all the housework. At work I’m not “me”, I’m the boss. At home I am wife and mom. Where in the world does “me” fit in? I find peace in the identity of those hats and that somehow “me” encompasses all those things, especially when I read God’s Word and see how much He values me.

  • Becca says:

    Thank you for this! I feel like this a lot. It really helps knowing I am not the only one out there! You express it perfectly!

  • inga says:

    You hit the nail on the head dear! I am 55 years old and I remember those lonely days. I was living 800 miles from family and I thought I was bored. But I wasn’t bored. I was lonely. It was one of the hardest and most precious times of my life. I love being around people. I love children. I loved being there for my 4 little children, but I felt just like you. Invisible!!!! Since my children are grown and having kids, I try to encourage them to hang in there. They will grow up. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world! It is also the most rewarding job in the world, but you have to put in your time first. If one can just live in the moment and not get caught up in trying to wear be. The main thing to remember is there is a season in your life for all kinds of things, but you can’t do it all in the same season.

  • Jennifer says:

    Thank you for writing this post. I recently resigned from 20 years in corporate America to stay home with my new baby. I have wanted to stay home with any children the Lord gave me all of my life, as I had a great mom who modeled it for me. Even though I’ve been busy getting our new house set up, I didn’t expect to encounter this feeling but reading your post helped me realize it.

    I enjoy your blog and will continue to be checking in and reading it. Thanks again, and God bless!

  • Heather says:

    Finally, someone said it!!!! It is lonely and not many will understand unless they have been in the same boat. I dont have any friends that I see in person except on a very rare occasion. I love my child immensely but I miss having friends and just shopping for myself without spending most of the spending budget on something she “needs”. I miss not feeling guilty for buying myself a shirt from Walmart…. but no matter what I still love being a mom.

  • Knickcole Hall says:

    I’m glad you shared this story with others as it’s true. When we are home to teach them right from wrong, mold them to become model citizens we often fail to realize we matter. It matters if we have socialization ourselves, if even only for 30 minutes once a week we need it.
    We spend so much time focusing on them and very little on ourselves that when they grow up and get ready to graduate from high school we find we are lonelier than we thought we were when they were beginning their Sr. year. The point I’m making is that we need to remember we are our children’s role models and we are human. We put a mask on so no one sees how we truly feel and often hide it for years without realizing it. Reach out to other women online get connected ladies there’s a bright world of others feeling just like you do.
    I lovey business because I get to interact with women like me and it’s helping me come out of the fearful stages of oh no she’s grown up to oh now it’s about me! Good luck ladies!

  • Marie says:

    Thank you for this! I ran into this as a share on facebook and it is exactly what I needed. I cried my way through it. As a Stay-At-Home-Mom I know just what it feels like to feel lonely and yet want to be left alone. To feel a sense of worth, but to understand that sometimes the kids just need to scream at you for something. I also know what it is like to feel guilty for chatting on the computer while the kids are watching a longer movie.
    For now, stay true to yourself.

  • Alejandra says:

    Wow. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’m new to your blog but I will definitely be back. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone.

  • […] This article is written  To the Lonely Mommy […]

  • Nancy Young says:

    Oh how I can relate to it all. I am now 72 years old and I remember it well. I was 25 when I had my first, then second at 26 at third at 27. Being fortunate enough to stay at home and raise them, I felt very blessed. However, my husband did not realize the demands on me were overwhelming. I kept telling him that if only we could have a date night once a month, I could make it. Something to look forward to, adult conversation etc. He wouldn’t hear of it. Noone was good enough to care for our children! The doctor eventually gave me nerve pills but I was crying a lot! Things could have been made so much better if I would have had an understanding husband!

  • Crystal says:

    Thank you so much for this encouragement! I have recently moved to a new city where my husband took a job with long hours and I continued life as a SAHM with our two girls, aged 6 months and 23 months. I went from having an awesome Christian community to knowing no one. I can relate to practically every word of this blog. I found myself wondering why your words brought me to tears and why I found comfort in knowing that I was not alone. Then, the answer dawned on me. We are meant to be in community with people. It’s one of God’s gifts to us. When we don’t have it, there’s an important thing missing. While it’s difficult, it also pushes us to lean in to God and trust Him and bask in His community. Thanks for this reminder!

  • Karly says:

    Thank you, Becky, for this reminder. Lonely days often reign in my life with 4 littles 4 and under, and just moved to a new city. I feel like friendships are definitely like you said – more of a nice idea than a reality! But thank God, He calls me friend and loves me more than anyone on earth ever could. I love your sweet words of wisdom and encouragement! Thank you :o)

  • Lily says:

    So true…. I felt that when I stopped working and became a stay-at-home-mum. Isolation and loneliness- surrounded by elderly neighbours, no young families, other mums.. Play dates are a contrived way of seeking connection- was too much hard work. I had to try to find a way to enjoy my own company with my kids- and make our own fun.
    Definitely is a shock though- huge adjustment. There’s no longer any validation about who you are, or feeling valued via money or status. All that is lost!
    But wouldn’t change it for the world..

  • Lisa says:

    Thanks so much for sharing this! Needed this today:)

  • C says:

    This isn’t true for just SAHMs. I am a working mom that wishes she could stay home, but unfortunately that wouldn’t work for my family right now. But even though i go to an office and talk to people all day i too am alone. i don’t have friends with children or truly any one true friend. I go to work, i come home to take care of my daughter, and try to squeeze a little time in with my husband. The weekends are packed with doing what i needed to get done during the week and then the grind starts again on monday. I just wish some days i had one true girlfriend in the same season of life as me that i know i could count on even to just talk about our kids.

    I pray often to not feel alone. i am surrounded by people all day, but sadly i am alone. i try to focus on my daughter and being in her life but i too feel i am missing out on something i crave so badly for…. friendship. i look back and realize that in highschool and college i had plenty of friends, but no one real friend. and then i pray. i pray that god will bring my family another family that’s in the same season of life we are and that we could become close, but that prayer hasn’t been answered yet. my faith is firm but my heart is heavy.

    so even in the end of all of this, SAHM mommies…. realize that sometimes the grass isn’t always greener by being at the office. sure your little ones can’t talk back and the adult interaction is somewhat a plus, but those relationships can be just as empty and lonely. While you are wipping down another snotty face, or picking up yet another toy, theres even working mommies out there that feel that same alone feeling and desire to have someone to talk to.

    xo

  • Rachel says:

    Thank you. I’m not good with words, but I couldn’t agree more with this post. And it’s nice to be reminded I’m not alone. Not only will the Lord never leave me, but honestly, it’s just nice to read that there are others out there who feel this way even when we’re surrounded by our people all day.

    Chins up, Ladies! Thank you all for your encouragement today.

  • Tina says:

    Your article had me in tears! Thank you soo much! I am a single (not by choice I left my husband after he became very abusive) stay at home mom. I am contracted with one of our local companies in the area and am fortunate enough to work 4 hours a night but by myself, 365 days a year (that’s right no days off unless I find someone to fill in for me the company does not fill you’re shift if you can’t come in) and make very good money. Allowing me to stay at home all day with my 5 and 2 year old but leaves absolutely no time to make or have friends. The lonliness of being a single stay at home mom is overwhelming. My mom does help with the kids but she also works 40+ hours a week second shift so she’s not home during the most trying hours of the day. Plus really who only wants to hang out with their mom? My friends think I’m crazy when I say I’m lonely. They say but you have the kids there all day you’re never alone. So it’s nice to hear I’m not the only person who feels this way! People take for granted having adult conversations. And doing things other than cooking, cleaning, raising children! I love my children and wouldn’t change the way things are. But it really hit home when you said it would be nice to hear my name and be recognized as a person and not just mom. I am truly thankful for you’re post!!

  • lexi says:

    Thank you for that.

  • mona says:

    Thanks. I needed this today. Your fears and loneliness are the same as mine. I used to use brain but now feel so stupid. I feel guilty for taking me time.

  • Ashtin G says:

    Really loved this blog! I’m not yet a stay at home mom. But, i am a babysitter, and pregnant with my own child. On top of that, I don’t do much outside of home, and when I do its to go food shopping or i am too tired to actually have fun. This blog helped out a lot! Thank you

  • Anita says:

    I’ve been a stay at home mom throughout the years I’ve had my babies. I now have three grown young adults starting their own lives and two little ones at home. A 7 year old and 11month old. Yesterday was one, if not the difficult days. I cried for nearly the whole day and felt so guilty for wanting, for needing a break just to be alone. I came across this and started reading it and related to all of it so fast and I cried again lol. This time because I didn’t feel so alone in the matter of feeling alone. I even told my husband that maybe us getting a divorce would be better off because that would mean I could have some time for ME when it would be his turn to take the girls. That’s how desperate I was/am for a break sometimes. Thanks for sharing this.

  • Emily says:

    I needed this today. I know this is an older post, but I just wanted to say that your words really touched me. Thank you so much for putting into writing exactly what I needed to hear. I’m a new mom, and a new stay at home mom, and this is just perfect. So, thank you!

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