To the Pregnant Woman without Options

His feet roll along the underside of my ribs. I put my hand on the top side of my tummy to feel them as they go by. Precious little feet. In August, those feet will no longer be tucked warmly inside of me. They will be snuggled up in tiny little socks, and kissed a million times, and they will begin to grow entirely too fast just like his brother’s and sister’s did. Those toes are already so loved.

Last night, as I lay in bed completely uncomfortable, I thought about her… maybe about you. I thought about the pregnant mom who is all alone. I thought about the woman terrified by tiny feet and everything that they will mean. I thought about the woman who has no options.

I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to not only be uncomfortable, but also so afraid.

A long time ago – 31 years this August, there was a woman just like you. She, too, was without options. She felt as though there was no way for her to care for a baby. She felt abandoned and alone most days. But she made a decision. She decided to carry that baby until the day he was born. With every passing day, she loved that baby knowing that he would likely not be hers to raise. With every move and every kick inside of her, he reminded her that she was making a beautiful choice.

And when it came time for him to be born, she held him closely, and then said goodbye. She passed him into four waiting arms who would raise him to become a man of integrity and honor. Who would love him and call him their own. Who had been waiting and praying for him long before he was born.

And I am so grateful. I am so eternally grateful. Because the decision of that precious woman to carry her baby boy meant that exactly 31 Augusts later, I could deliver mine.

I have the family that I have today because a beautiful and brave woman chose adoption for her son – my husband.

I am here today because my grandfather was placed for adoption. My husband is here today because his mother chose adoption…. And my precious babies are here as a result of those choices. Everything that you see on this page is possible because of the women who chose adoption – every life impacted – every heart encouraged – every destiny changed all because of the women who chose life.

Adoption is such a beautiful gift – a beautiful picture of God’s eternal love. It is a promise to love and raise a child as your own even if that child grew inside of your heart instead of your womb.

To the woman who is pregnant, scared and alone, I want to encourage your heart today. There are options. There are generations of healthy and happy life that can come from that precious baby growing inside of you. There are families full of birthdays and graduations and marriages that can come from the decision to let that baby have a chance at life.

There are good homes and wonderful families just waiting/praying for a chance to love that baby inside of you. And importantly, there are wonderful organizations eager to help you choose just the right one.

I am thinking of you today, precious friend. I am praying that the Lord would speak to your heart. You might not know Him. You might not believe or trust or want anything to do with Him, but He loves you – and He loves your baby.

My prayer is that you would choose life. My prayer is that those squirms and moving feet would not bring fear, but each day would remind you of the beautiful choice that you continue to make.

Thank you to those who have chosen adoption, those who have adopted, and those who will make that choice today. Your decisions will ripple across eternity.

Comments

  • Amy says:

    So well said! From an adopted child, thank you for putting into words the gratitude that I feel for the woman who loved me enough to carry me for 9 months & give me away.

  • Beth says:

    Thank you for posting this. My husband and I adopted our daughter two years ago, and she was just 9 days old. We had prayed for and cried for and wanted a child for over 7 years, and I would do it all again to have that precious child placed in my arms.

  • Katie W says:

    What a beautiful post!!!

  • Diane says:

    Thank you for these words today. I am an adoptive mother. God gave me two precious gifts through 2 birth mothers who chose life for their babies, and chose to sacrificially give them what they needed, what they knew they couldn’t provide. My oldest daughter is now 21, a college graduate, and a beautiful person inside and out. She uses her testimony of adoption to bring honor and glory to God, to show others of His love for them. My son is now 17 and a senior in high school. He too shines with the light of Christ. Their birth parents are heroes to me, and I am forever grateful. When I was turning 40 God blessed me with a surprise pregnancy, I remember well feeling those little toes dancing across my belly. Another miracle, another way. He’s 10 now, and if you looked at our 3 children, you would never know they weren’t all siblings. Whether born of my heart or my womb, these children are blessings from God. If there is a birth mother out there who is weighing her options, I beg you to choose life, and if you know you are not in a place to raise a child, choose adoption. God can redeem what you may see as an impossible situation, and from it bring life and joy and redemption.

  • Brittany says:

    Beautiful!

  • Tina says:

    This is so powerful and so very true! God bless those mommas that give their little ones over for whatever reason to be raised by another. There are so many ladies who can not give birth and without those mommas who give up their babies, so many women would not know the joy of being a momma! It truly is the greatest gift, then those precious lil ones grow and give you (me) grandbabies to love! Life does come full circle. God bless you for always sharing and opening others eyes and hearts by your words.

  • Haley says:

    As a fellow adoptee, truer words cannot be said! I’m expecting my first child in October, my little boy is kicking my ribs as I write this! Every day I marvel at the fact that my birth mother chose life for me and gave my family the best gift they’d ever received (until two years later when they adopted my sister too!), and made all of the happy things and hard things possible for me with that one decision. Adoption is such a wonderful selfless act and I am so proud to share my story with anyone and everyone in hopes that it can be he encouragement someone needs to make that choice for themselves and their child as well. The prayer on my heart today will be for the women who find themselves unsure of the demands of motherhood, that they might choose life and love for their child.

  • Jenny says:

    Reading with tears in my eyes and streaming down my face. Beautiful Article. I, myself was adopted, and gave birth to my daughter Layla 15 months ago, and without my birth mothers decision, my family would not be possible.

  • Caroline says:

    yes yes yes CHOOSE life!!! So so so good

  • Lori Smith says:

    Thank you for the beautiful words and encouragement. I wish they had been there for me all those years ago. I pray for each woment that reads this to turn their heart toward adoption.

  • Such a beautiful post! My son was born in Russia; a country which has the highest abortion rate in the world. I am thankful every single day that his birth mother chose to carry him and bring him to a safe place once he was born. I have never met his birth mother but I love her deeply for her choice to bring him into the world. Adoption is a true gift!

  • Erin says:

    This is so beautiful. I am sharing. Thank you!

  • Jessica says:

    Beautiful words – my husband is also adopted and I also thank his mother (who we know was only 18 at his birth) for making a courageous choice. Because of her my babies, 2.5 yrs and 7 months are here.

  • Kendall says:

    I was adopted and last year after 28 years I was able to meet my birth mother. I expressed over and over again how grateful I was for her decision of adoption. She was so young when she had me, she could have easily chose a different path. God had a plan for my life and the family that adopted me and I would change any part of it. I was given a chance at life that I’m so thankful for. One day, I too would love to adopt. I want to give someone the same opportunity for life that I was given!

  • […] A warm letter to “the pregnant woman without options”: […]

  • Bethany says:

    Beautifully written! Thank you for writing this! I am blessed to be a Mom today to 5 precious children we were able to adopt. I am so thankful to their Birth Mom’s for choosing life!

  • Leah says:

    Thank you for this, it us absolutely beautiful. I am a birthmother who chose life and chose adoption 10 years ago this month. Often it feels like birthmothers can be forgotten in the equation of adoption, or may have a negative light shined on them for whatever reason. Thank you for honoring and remembering us, in the good light. Which simply is a choice made out of love for our child…wanting the best for them.

  • Rebecca says:

    Thank You God for knowing JUST what we need and when we need it. Thank you for sharing this!!!
    Just this morning someone VERY close to me told me she was pregnant and considering abortion. I am devastated and heartbroken to say the least. I expressed to her over and over that adoption was a beautiful choice for her and that she would be giving a family the greatest gift. I will be sharing this with her because she’s scared and worried. Please be praying with me that her heart is changed and she chooses adoption!!! Please pray for me as well… that God would speak His grace and love through me when I speak with her again.

  • Beautiful. Adoption has (and will always be) on our radar, even if we are able to have children naturally. Such a good article.

  • Jan says:

    Thank you! My mother placed her first child for adoption when she was young and unmarried. She went on to marry and have three more children and move to Canada. When I was in my thirties she told me about my half brother – I had never been prouder of my Mom, knowing that she had given her son life and a chance at a good life with parents who had prayed for him. It was after Mom died that I contacted the adoption register and eventually connected with “David” who did indeed have a wonderful life because of my mother. He is a wonderful man with a great sense of humour and an appreciation for our Mom that is very humbling. God bless all birth mothers!

  • Lisa says:

    I can so relate to your beautifully written post! My husband’s mother gave him up for adoption at age 16 – a life giving decision in so many ways. Not only did it allow her to live an abundant life free from pain and regret, but my husband and I have also given life to 6 amazing children because of that decision. I can’t imagine life without him or my children. She gave a gift that has had an eternal impact on so many lives. My husband now sits on the board of a life giving organization called Online for Life. Check it out http://www.onlineforlife.org. They are providing life giving counsel and resources to abortion determined women.

  • Ashley says:

    Thank you so much for your thoughts. I couldn’t agree with you more. 7 months ago my husband and I found out about our infertility and all Ihave ever wanted and worked for in my life is to be a mother. Adoption has become our only option and I pray every chance I get that God will give us a baby to love and cherish. Thank you mothers who choose to give your baby to another. You are not any less of a mother for your choice made out of love and it is a gift couples like us will be eternally grateful for.

  • Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this post. As a birth mother who placed my baby up for adoption, this hit extremely close to home. While pregnant, I debated all options – including abortion – and ultimately decided to go the adoption route, and I’m so glad that I did. Your article has an interesting perspective – I never thought of what she will become when she gets older, or who she will meet, marry, etc. All I can focus on is how happy her new parents were when they saw her. Best decision I’ve ever made.

  • Melissa says:

    Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and gratitude. I am a mom to two beautiful children that came to us through the miracle of adoption and I thank Hod everyday that their birth mothers were brave enough to chose adoption and ultimately my family to raise their babies.

  • Nancy says:

    I am a birth mom, and reading this tonight was such a blessing to my life. I was in a difficult situation at the time. But God is faithful and gave me beauty in place of ashes. I now am married with 2 beautiful children and keep in close contact with the couple who adopted my son. He is so well cared for and they have done for him what I know at that time I could never have done. He has a wonderful life with absolutely amazing parents and I look forward to every communication with them, seeing through their letters and photos how he is growing and how happy he is. This has done my heart good to see this. It couldn’t have been written any better. I am thankful for the person who wrote this to those who feel they don’t have a way out. Children are precious and they are put on this earth for a reason. God has a plan for that child’s life. Thank you again for posting this.

  • Cheryl says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. Because a girl chose life for her child, I have a son-in-law who loves my daughter very much, the friendship of his two special parents, and four beautiful grandsons. Prayers that others will see your post and choose life. God bless you!

  • patti Smith says:

    I loved your letter to a pregnant mom—your message is also mine, but you said it so much better. My birthmother was raped and she put me up for adoption in 1955. I was raised by wonderful adoptive parents in an upper middle class home in So. California. I had a good childhood and solid Christian foundation. I am so grateful for my life. When I was 34, I met my birthmother and learned about my conception. I felt horrible at first, until my birthmother said that I was the only GOOD thing to come from that violent act. I thanked her for my life, and hope I honor her with the way I live my life – in gratitude. Had I been aborted like so many women do today, especially if they are a victim of rape, my three children would not have been born and all the future generations to come.

  • Amy says:

    I am a birthmom and have raised three of my own never regretted my decision and hope someday to meet my son.

  • Mary says:

    I am on the other side of this story. I found myself pregnant at 16, a junior in high school. I was petrified. Did not know how to tell my parents who were Christians that raised me as a Christian. I did eventually tell them. They said To ask for God’s forgiveness and that they forgave me as well. Putting my baby up for adoption was the hardest thing I have ever done. I knew it was the best option but it was hard. I was sent to a home for unwed mothers. Scared and alone. My daughter was born and I went home never setting my eyes on her. I was afraid if I saw that precious baby I would never be able to let her go. My life went on. I never forgot her. Always wondering where she was and how she was. I was very fortunate to locate her 25 years later and to meet her. She is a beautiful woman with two children. We were able to form a relationship and I am now a proud Great Grandma. My life felt complete when we met. God is good.

  • Jennifer bryant says:

    My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 15 years. We would love to adopt a child and welcome him/her into our hearts with loving arms

  • Kayla says:

    Thank you for your post. As the birthmother of my amazing birthson, it is good to see things like this when it seems that Birthmothers are so quickly forgotten about as soon as the adoption is finalized. The couple I chose to adopt my son did not keep their open adoption agreement and I haven’t heard from them or seen them since it was finalized. We all stayed in the same room at the hospital after I had him then they stayed at my house for a couple weeks while we were waiting for the adoption to be finalized but they left my house late the night before court without saying bye or anything. Despite us being close throughout my pregnancy and them promising over and over that they wanted openess, they disappeared after they got what they wanted. I pumped breast milk for 6 months hoping they would just ask for it and feed it to the baby like they said they wanted to but, it ended up being a waste. It has been very hard to forgive their actions but to me, they will always be my family. I pray for them daily and hope one day they can do what they told me they would and allow me to be in my birthsons life. Until then, articles like this are very helpful. Just showing that you care and have considered the feelings of women struggling with the decision of what to do with their precious baby, means so much! Thank you, Kayla

  • Jessica C says:

    My dad was adopted!! I love your post!

  • Ruth says:

    Thank you! This is such a beautiful description of true love. For a mother to give her child away to be raised by another is such a difficult decision , but such a blessing for the precious parents who have waited longingly to have a child.

  • […] stumbled across this beautiful online article today and knew I had to share this immediately in my blog. As an adoptive parent, I am thankful […]

  • Veronica says:

    It makes me sad when people think they have no options. I was 14 years old when I gave birth to my 1st child. It was really hard in the beginning, we bounced from home to home with very little stability, but I held on tight to her. Once I was 18 I was able to get an apartment, a full time job and graduate highschool. Today SHE is 14 and I am SO thankful to have her in my life. She spent the morning curled up next to me, holding my hand and watching me as I finished up my final project in my college Statistics course. She adores me, and she understands how lucky she is to have me as her mother. Many young girls would have given up, many girls like my older sister choose abortion when they become young and pregnant. Many young girls are convinced they can’t keep their child and they hand her off to complete strangers, hoping she won’t be abused, neglected or lied to. Personally I think it is courageous when a young mother with virtually no options is still able to find a way to keep her family together, even if that means sleeping in your car once and a while. I guess my point is, hard times can happen to absolutely anyone, and you can’t just give up on your children when life gets difficult. You let your children inspire you to find a way, and to show that even when the odds are against you and it seems like you have no options, that the love can find a way.

  • Rachel says:

    This is slightly different, but to all the mothers who choose to keep their babies and not let their families pressure them into abortion. 47 years I was also faced with that side of it, and being a very scared 16 year old, I stood up to my parents and said NO!! Will keep my baby and Thank God for that. I wouldn’t have a beautiful daughter and amazing beautiful grandchildren today. Yes, it was a struggle and I learned to parent as I went along with the years, but I hope my daughter is thankful for that….I know I am!

  • Krista D says:

    So beautiful! I am a mom-in-waiting, waiting to adopt… I pray for women like the one you wrote your post to all the time. For them to understand the choices they have, for them to have someone to help them make those decisions – a friend, a family member, an organization they reach out to. And for when they’ve decided, for them to be given God’s peace and be surrounded by His love which can remove fear.

  • Mia says:

    Thank you for these beautiful words of encouragement. July 11, 1973 I made the hardest adult decision no 16 year old girl should have to make. But almost 41 years later I still know I made the right decision to let a family give my son the love and life I couldn’t give him. My only regret today is that it was a closed adoption and I pray one day my son will seek me out and will know I did what I knew was best for him. God bless all the birth mothers and adoptive families.

  • Tiffany says:

    This is a beautiful message. At 19 half way through college I found out I was pregnant with my son. Abortion was never an option but I laid awake many nights wondering what I was going to do. Thankfully I was blessed with wonderful parents that pulled placing the baby for adoption off the table as well. Without their support I would have had no other option than adoption. God bless those that make the choice of adoption when they know they can’t care for their baby like an adoptive family would!

  • Mary says:

    Hi, thank you!! I made that choice 12 years ago, and have regretted it only a few times. Not because the choice of life was not the best choice, but because I thought if I had just held on longer that I could have kept my precious one. I realize now that she is where God wanted her all along. She is with a wonderful family who love and support her in whatever she does, and I am very happy to be included in her life to this day. God knows His plans, even if we don’t.

  • JEANNETTE RAINE says:

    THANK YOU THANK YOU! And I want to thank the 16-year-old girl who, 35 years ago, made the decision to give my son life. He was just 18 days old when they placed him in my arms and gave me the greatest joy of my life….a joy that continues to this day as I get the chance to hug him and my beautiful daughter-in-law and my amazing two grandchildren. I am so grateful for these blessings! And thank you for this message to give support and encouragement to choose to give the gift of life.

  • Carri Uram says:

    Love birthmothers and the precious sacrifices they make! We are blessed with two amazing birthmothers and their children (now both in college). God bless you all!!

  • This is beautiful… I’m in tears now as I hold my sweet baby boy. He is my baby boy because a sweet woman chose adoption. Praise Jesus!

  • cindybiehler@yahoo.com says:

    I really wish that I would have seen this when I made the worst decision of my life in 1977. Perhaps I would have chosen life.

  • Rebekah says:

    I’m crying because my husband is also adopted & I am also so grateful his biological mom chose life! My husband and I are expecting our second child now! Praise God! :-)

  • Tabatha says:

    Thank you so much for this article! I placed my firstborn eight years ago. To God be the glory for how He has worked it out for His purposes. It is amazing now to watch him interact with my little one on visits and to see how God has brought it all full circle. Praising God for His faithfulness and the love the adoptive parents have for that child whom we both love.

  • Kendra Cyrus says:

    This post is beautifully written. I like it. Thanks for sharing you r experiences and thoughts.

  • Mary says:

    Women today have so many options. There are organizations who can help them raise their babies, there are many different types of adoption and there is also respite and guardianship. A great organization for any mother who is unsure is Support for expectant mothers. I wish there were around when I placed 20 years ago.
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Support-for-Expectant-New-Single-Mothers/730894530305526?ref=ts&fref=ts

  • […] One woman working to end that silence is Scissortail Silk blogger Becky Thompson. Her post last month How Abortion has Changed the Discussion of Miscarriage has now been shared by almost 100,000 readers. In that post, Becky rightly says that denying the dignity of the unborn in the case of abortion has led to silence over the loss of life in cases of miscarriage too. Becky’s faith is striking, whether she is writing to share her own tender and personal story offering hope after miscarriage, or allowing her heart to remain open to those grieving a child lost to elective abortion. She is also a passionate and eloquent advocate for the beautiful option of adoption. […]

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