“One last push, and you can meet your son!” the nurse cheered. And she was right. As I leaned forward, I saw him. Brand new. Arms stretched wide. Hands open. Reaching for something to hold onto.
Such a big transition into this new world. Such a brave adventure. But as they laid him on my chest while they rubbed him down, I covered those tiny hands with my own. I leaned in close, and my heart whispered to his, “I’m right here. I’ve got you. Mommy’s never letting you go.”
Those hands grew fast. They grew too fast if you ask me.
They pulled my hair, and held onto toys, and were used to discover the world.
They held tightly to mine as he learned how to walk, and reached for me as he took his first steps alone.
And before I knew it, they were climbing, and clapping and coloring. They were throwing and catching and playing. They were carrying books and toys and exploring.
This year, those tiny hands have grown again. This year, they are big enough for Pre-K. And in just a few short weeks, I will hold his hand as we walk to his classroom, and then, I will let him go.
It’s only a few hours each morning, but as I imagine him standing there with a box of crayons in each hand, I can already see them coming up ahead – each moment where he must face the world bravely – Just as he came into it. Arms stretched wide. Hands open. Reaching for something to hold onto.
As he goes to elementary school
And middle school
And then high school.
As I drive his things to college, and help him move into his dorm room.
As he falls in love and says I do, and reaches for someone else to hold onto.
The first of many moments of letting go is coming very soon. But even though I might not be there to hold his hands, my heart will always keep its promise. “I’m right here. I’ve got you. Mommy’s never letting you go.” Because even better than holding his hand, is knowing that I will always hold his heart.
You might be well past pre-k, you might be sending your baby off to high school or going through college orientation… you might be finding 3rd of 4th or 10th grade particularly difficult this year.
But for all of us… for every first we are facing, may we hold onto this truth:
We aren’t letting go. We never really let go. We just find new ways to hold on, remembering that the Lord is holding both of us. And just as we entered this world reaching for Someone, our hearts can rest knowing that He never lets us go either.
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