Wedding Vows: Now That We are Parents


I woke up this morning and wasn’t concerned about what I would wear to our fancy dinner tonight. I wasn’t worried about finding shoes or jewelry, or making sure that I had plenty of time to get my hair and makeup done. I didn’t look for roses or perfume or expect to see a card taped to the bathroom mirror.

It was just a Tuesday – stuck right in the middle of a regular Monday and Wednesday.

It just so happens that on this day 8 years ago, we promised our lives to each other and said, “I do.”

Anniversaries don’t quite look like they used to. With two pre-schoolers and a newborn, remembering the time that we have been married doesn’t seem nearly as important as measuring the growth of our family. Instead our lives are traced out on the back wall of our bathroom in little pen marks that show the growth of our babies.

But on this day – on this regular Tuesday that pops up right in the middle of everyday life – I want to take a minute to remember us – because without us there would be no them.  I want to remember the two that made the family. And maybe the best way to do that is to look at our vows again now that we are mommy and daddy. So here they are. A more appropriate set of wedding vows from the eyes of young parents.

I promise to love and to cherish you –

Through positive pregnancy tests and life lost too soon,

As we grieve and pray and try again,

As we remember hope and cling to faith for the next nine months,

And as we finally hold that first precious life in our arms and become Mommy and Daddy.

I promise to love you as the nights drag on and our time together grows thin.

In the moments that we seem close or distant.

When it seems like we have gone days without saying “hello.”

I promise to love you as we decide to expand our family again –

As our family of three quickly grew to a family of four and then to a family of five.

As our time together is spent while feeding a baby, or changing a diaper or avoiding a tantrum.

As prepared dinner looks like mac-n-cheese and dinosaur shaped nuggets.

As our favorite shows come with animated characters.

As we learn what blankets are special, what toys are favorites, and the “right” way to sing Twinkle Twinkle.

I promise to love all versions of you – but to fall in love more and more with the moments that you are called Daddy.

Because I thought that I loved you as much as my heart could express on this day 8 years ago, but I didn’t know that until I saw you as a Father how deeply my love for you could grow.

Thank you for making all my dreams come true – and even more importantly for continuing to say “I do” every single day.

 

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Comments

  • Tatum says:

    My husband and I will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary tomorrow and we have a baby who turned 5 months old yesterday. Our lives have changed beyond belief and this post was just perfect for us! Thank you so much for your wonderful and perfect messages.

  • Jenny says:

    As a mother of 5 and married for 14 years. This brought tears to my eyes. You have perfectly captured marriage after children. Good luck with your family

  • Rebecka says:

    Happiest anniversary to you and your husband! May God keep granting you with blessing and showering you both with His love. Thank you for all your inspiration.

  • Marnie says:

    Beautiful and SO true!!! Our vows do need to change as our lives together progress and look different from when we were first married. I needed to read this today because this is what my life has become. There was a time earlier this year that our oldest daughter, Trinity, had to have open heart surgery and it was one of the biggest challenges that was thrown at us as parents. We just couldn’t imagine the idea of her not making it through the surgery. As a result of me having to be so involved in her recovery from that, my husband and I just started focusing all of our attention on her when she got home and it was as if we just went into “parent mode” without taking the time to remember that we were husband and wife first. After we had her follow up at the hospital, we sat down together and had a really long talk and for the first time since finding out about the surgery, we started to connect with each other on a deeper level. Since then, things have improved remarkably and we remember to take the time after a long day to be husband and wife.

    God bless you for what you do, and keep on loving on your kids and your husband. Happy Anniversary!!!

  • David Garretson Sr says:

    Outstanding verse and sentimental thought guys. Happy Anniversary and many many many more.

  • Andria says:

    This is a beautiful way of looking at things.

  • Megan says:

    I love all of your posts. Happy or sad they are always filled with love and honesty. Please keep them coming. I find so much you say inspirational. Happy 8 year anniversary !

  • Kristin says:

    I love this! Hits home on so many levels for my husband and I (going on 12 years in November!), especially since our first child (now 5) was born four days early….on our wedding anniversary! Best gift ever, but definitely makes our special day very different than it used to be! Happy Anniversary to you and congrats on the new bundle of love :)

  • Betty Gentry says:

    This is perhaps one of the most beautifully expressed and important messages to young couples I’ve ever read. What a gift of knowledge and expression you have.

  • Jesse May says:

    Our anniversary was last week, so this is right on time for me. After four quick years of marriage, I marvel at the two little girls running up to my husband squealing “Daddy!”
    God is so good to us. :)

  • Jana Taylor says:

    I love your blog! I’m an “old married lady” & past the little ones still growing but your thoughts resonate with me. As our daughter moved out & married, our lives changed again but I still look at my husband with love & admiration of the father he has been. Thank you for reminders that our lives change, we change but you can still focus on each other where you are NOW.

    Bless you!

  • MJ Stodghill says:

    Love this! My husband and I are apart for the next three months. We have two amazing boys, ages 2 years, and 8 months. Even when we’re under one roof, sometimes my husband and I don’t see each other for days in a row except to say good morning or goodnight; sometimes my boys don’t get to see daddy for days at a time at all as he gets home after bedtime and leaves before they wake up. So when we do have time together, it’s all four of us together, no matter what! We don’t have time to spend alone together, because if we did, he would rarely see the boys. I’ve tried to look at how our sweet boys bring us together, rather than drive us apart, even thought sometimes it can feel that way. Love your thoughts, keep sharing them please!

  • Deanne says:

    Happy anniversary! We just celebrated our 8 year anniversary last Tuesday and welcomed our sixth child on the 1st of the month. Your post really spoke to me! I loved my husband with all of my heart when we got married and, with the addition of a child almost every year of our marriage, my love for him has grown exponentially! We are both so blessed! :) Thank you for sharing!

  • alyssa says:

    This is such a beautiful thing to do once you start having children. And your personal vows are lovely. <3

  • We just celebrated our 5th with 2 redbox movies, hibachi take out and our home. Set the 4 kids up to watch Wreck It Ralph while we enjoyed a movie in the next room…just us. It seems so small to everyone that asks me what we did but it was perfect. It was a moment that we took a one redbox movie length of time out for us. Of course it was paused and there were plenty of interruptions but I think the fact that we sat down with one another is enough to celebrate us.

    Happy Anniversary!
    Nicole Michelle

  • stephanie says:

    Girl, you are so wise. I love how God speaks through you when I need to stop and listen. Just the other day I said to my mom that I can’t think of what to get my husband next weekend for his birthday, because I went back to work in a new career (teaching), and put our 15 month – old in daycare, and I can’t even stay awake past 8 PM some nights because I’m so terribly exhausted. Recently she sent me your link, which made me laugh because I already have it bookmarked, and I saw this. Thank you. Thank you for helping me see a bit more clearly… again. :) Congratulations on that newest, sweet, soul. They are all blessed to have you, as are we.

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