The Day that Love Won: A Response to the Supreme Court’s Ruling

We were on vacation. That is what I will tell my children when they ask where we were the day that the Supreme Court made a ruling that would allow same-sex marriage nationwide.

love-won

I had signed off of social media for the week… I had lost track of my days and dates… and our biggest concern wasn’t anything on TV… but whether we were going to hang around the resort or go into town for the day.

And so when I picked up my phone – I was surprised by the news.

I began scrolling through status updates, articles and posts…. all responding – all passionate – but all so divided.

I found myself surprised by some who were openly showing their support. I found myself surprised by others who were openly furious. I found myself saying the words, “They are on that side?! I had no idea that they felt that way.”

But right then I realized that lines are being drawn in the sand that will be almost impossible to ever cross again.

And my heart broke.

Because on both sides of this…. are people.

Not just ideas and morals. Not just thoughts and opinions.

People – with beating hearts.

And while I have my own opinions of the Supreme Court’s ruling, you won’t find my support or my rejection voiced here. My reason is simple. It is not because I am ashamed of how I feel, nor because I am afraid. It is not because I lack conviction… because I have my own strong opinions of the ruling.

It is because I recognize that my personal convictions voiced loudly have the ability to silence conversations that I might have with people that I know. It is because I believe that one on one conversations are where hearts can be heard and where convictions can meet compassion.

I am reminded of the time that Jesus encountered a man named Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus had climbed a tree to get a better view of Jesus, because the crowds had made it difficult for him to see. Do you know what Jesus did when He came to that tree? He called Zacchaeus down, and invited him to dinner.

He didn’t tell the crowd what He thought about Zacchaeus. He didn’t make an example of him or his lifestyle. We don’t even know what was discussed around the food that day.

All we know is that Jesus went to Zach’s house, had dinner, and Zacchaeus’ life was changed forever.

Friend? I’m NOT saying that we need to be silent.  I am saying that we need to be ready to have hard conversations. We need to hold firm to our personal convictions, but we need to be ready to show compassion. We need to be prepared to meet face to face with whoever comes our way.

Because the Supreme Court’s ruling doesn’t change hearts, but our response to it can.

As Christians, we believe that Love won when Jesus defeated sin and death making a way for us to have a relationship with God again. Love won when Jesus once and for all broke off the lies that we would never measure up, that we would never find our way back to Him, that said we would never have hope, or health, or life.

Jesus won when He redeemed a broken humanity back into His perfect Love.

… and no ruling or power or authority can ever unseat Him from His throne of victory as He reigns forever over all things.

But we might not ever get to share this Truth with the people that we love the most… because we silence the conversation before we ever get the opportunity to have it.

My prayer is that now more than ever Christians will know why we believe what we believe, and that we will be prepared to speak with Love in every situation…

Because that is truly the only way we can show that #lovealreadywon (for all of us.)

 


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Comments

  • My sentiments exactly.
    I love the Zaccheus analogy. What a wonderful example of Jesus being a loving friend, not proclaiming with a megaphone like we so often do today online.
    Thank you for so beautifully putting this into words.

  • Carrie says:

    Thank you for this, I almost didn’t read it because I am so over the topic. It breaks my heart to see so much division happening between people. You have expressed how I feel…but I have had a hard time putting into words. I too won’t share which ‘side’ I’m on, but am so thankful that our Lord has made it possible for love to win for all of us.

  • Karra says:

    Again, you have such a way with words. And you speak with such truth. It’s a ruling that has brought on so much hate that it’s terrible for both people on either side of this argument. Praying, continually for all of us.

  • Kai says:

    I feel blessed reading this and I thank you for it sis. I actually share the same sentiment and view as you. May God’s favor continue to rest upon you and your family!

  • Amy says:

    So well said!! I too have my thoughts and opinions on the topic, but it does no one any good to beat people over the head with them. I try and live and teach my children to live with love, and meet people where they are at. It is not our place to judge, but be an arrow pointing to God.

  • Heather says:

    Very well said! This is pretty darn close to what I heard in church yesterday also… The ruling changed civil laws not what scripture or Jesus said/did for all!

  • Katie says:

    This is the first response to the ruling that I felt completely comfortable and good about sharing. Thank you for standing firm in your convictions, but doing it in love.

  • Kimberly says:

    Absolutely perfect.

  • Faith Michelle Burns says:

    This was wonderfully said, thank you.

  • Erin says:

    Yes. Yes yes. Amen and amen

  • Amy says:

    Beautifully said. This was on my mind and in my heart this weekend and I just simply did not know how to put any of it to words, nor I would not have been able to pen it so wonderfully as you did. Well done.

  • Amber Taylor says:

    Amen and amen! Thank you for speaking what was in my heart too. Love won, a long time ago on a cross. That is nothing new. But love is what I’m completely missing from my Christian friends. Love is what we were commanded to do. Not reason, not judge, and certainly not condemn. How can we advance His glorious kingdom if we are shutting out the very ones who need to hear about grace?

  • Mary Ann says:

    God’s Blessings to us all!

  • Missy says:

    This is exactly the thought I had about the whole thing but couldn’t find the words! Thank you for this post! My biggest concern with all of these issues is that Christians are forgetting 2 things: we are always to show the love of Christ, and that sin is sin.

  • Ruby M. says:

    Our culture has accepted two huge lies.
    The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them.
    The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do.
    Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.” – Rick Warren

  • Brittany says:

    What a beautifully written post! Wow, you articulated the feelings I’ve had regarding this ruling so well– Feelings that I haven’t been able to even articulate myself. We must remember not to let hatred and opposing views get in the way of loving on others!

  • Timothy Dawe says:

    I love your viewpoint, it is very refreshing and thought provoking. I would, however, like to say that sometimes discourse is not a bad thing. both side expressing their opinions respectfully can lead to amazing and wonderful new ideas, with both sides coming to understand the other more fully. There is a theory that comes down to the fact that we can only grow when forced to rethink our preconceptions. When my theories come up against your theories, we both have to think about our notions. Sometimes opinions may change completely while other times it helps to strengthen and create more fully thought through conclusions. The idea that when only when a thesis meets its anti-thesis will a new synthesis emerge. I love debating with my friends especially when they know more about a subject then I do, it forces me to grow and to become better informed.

    All this being said as Christians who, have as a whole caused a great deal a harm to people in the past, you are correct when you say it might be time to sit back and listen, and maybe quite possibly learn something when listening with an open heart.

  • Lori says:

    Thank you. Beautifully said dear sister. Praying for you.

  • Laurel says:

    Becky,
    Thank you. Jesus is Lord of all.
    I pray those that comment here will think, and either keep it clean and kind, or honestly, just keep it shut. :)

  • Becky Washington says:

    I think you are absolutely right and I wish I had thought if it that way before I ever posted anything. On the other hand, part of believes that the reason the situation has turned into this is because the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Christians aren’t supposed to be squeaky so there was no one to stand up to the steamroller that was behind all of this. I’ve just got to trust that Gods will be done. I’m working hard to respond in love and respect.

  • Randy Fischer says:

    Becky… I really appreciate what you’re doing here. I can only imagine what kind of effort you must be putting into this. Which side you’re on doesn’t matter. I agree that the name-calling and all the insults have to stop. That just creates more hatred between the sides. Thank You

    I’m having a hard time understanding “Love won when Jesus defeated…” I don’t think ‘love’ won anything. What I see in the the Bible is that Jesus won salvation for us through His suffering and His death on the cross and His subsequent resurrection from the dead. The thing that love has to do with it is His Father loved us (His children) so much that He sent his Son, Jesus Christ into this world to lead the perfect life and to die on that cross for all the sins all of us commit each day. As for abolishing ALL of the laws of the Old Testament. He abolished many of the ceremonial laws and He abolished most of the laws that were made up by the Pharisees and Scribes, but he did not abolish God’s law.

    Now what follows is just my humble opinion. To honor His sacrifice for us, I think that we need to do all that is humanly possible to live by God’s laws. Yes, I know that is impossible. That is why we have the forgiveness of sins. But, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to follow God’s Word. I think it was Jesus himself who said “Repent of your sins and do them no more”.

  • Cheryl says:

    Thank you for this refreshing response to current events. I am saddened by the division in our country and you could not have summed up my feelings more completely.

  • Marie says:

    Your words are always so encouraging and positive! Thank you for sharing them when it is so easy to get caught up in all the negative in this world! You are a blessing to me! Be blessed!

  • Holly says:

    Deat Becky,
    This is the most inspiring response to the events that have taken place this past week. I have been struggling with this issue and praying for a way to respond. This post feels like the answer! Keep our hearts and minds open to have the tough conversations. This is the very first post of yours that I have ever read and I can’t wait to read more! Thank you for your words of support and encouragement in times where there are a great deal of heavy hearts!

    Best,

    Holly

  • Becky says:

    What very wise words. This is a breath of fresh air after all the hatred that has been published elsewhere. Above all let’s love one another.

  • Sharon says:

    You are an amazing woman and I love reading your stories. You said this so well and it really put things in perspective. God bless.

  • Ashley says:

    Your words have brought me to tears many times, I am glad I found you and your blog. I feel like I have an internet friend (that has no idea we’re friends :) ) Thank you for all your beautiful sharings.

  • Kym McNabney says:

    Amen! Thank you for pointing this out. My feelings, exactly.

  • gina says:

    Love this – well said!

  • Robin Hohgrebe says:

    I was introduced to your blog today by a Facebook friend in MOPS. I read your post from today and had to share your post with my friends. It was evident, through your words filled with both grace and truth that you are a true worshiper of the Most-High God! Now, THAT is very encouraging!

    God bless you, your family, and guide your words to continue being grace-filled and truthful…a reflection of the worshipers that our Father desires.

  • Breanna says:

    I love this! I have been trying to say this very thing to all of my friends on both sides! Love already won, the battle was over more than 2000 years ago when our savior hung on the cros. What good does it do to alienate those who need Gods love! Why is there sin more heinous than our own! Only the transforming power of God can lead us to redemption and salvation!

  • Anna says:

    My husband and I have literally just talked about the same thing. If what you’re posting/declaring on Facebook isn’t helping anyone, then chances are, it’s hurting them. Also, lol I think God can take care of who He’s “judging” on His own. He probably doesn’t need a bunch of us playing Holy Spirit for Him.

    Anyway thank you for writing this. It really was great to read.

  • Sarah Ann Gay says:

    Very well said, my dear!
    I am a 67-year-old grandmother. . . about 30 years ago my sister ‘came out of the closet’ and rocked our family to its foundation. My parents, devout Christians, never stopped loving, caring, praying and grieving as long as they lived. As long as they were alive, my brother and I enjoyed a loving relationship with my sister. . . now that Mama & Daddy are gone, we have no rallying point. We live miles apart and actually have no reason to get together, rarely text/email or talk.
    Like you, I have seen/heard so many unfriendly-sounding comments and have not been able to ‘like’ them or enter the conversations. It is overwhelmingly sad.
    I have a real awareness that the gulf between us is wider and somehow more uncross-able since Friday. . .
    Yet, it is somewhat amazing that we are so very different and have loved so deeply. We could be on Oprah’s show if she still had one!
    So I thank you for helping me sort thro my thoughts. . .
    Blessed be the Tie that binds our hearts!

  • Lisa says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. So beautifully articulated. So many of the things I have been feeling. Love the new hashtag :) #lovelreadywon

  • Tina Peters says:

    True followers of Jesus Christ don’t go around intentionally saying mean things to nonbelievers……….things that will likely silence the conversation before it gets started. We just don’t go around trying to do that. The problem is, when it comes to ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ to homosexuals, there are too many (nonbelievers, Christians and merely churchgoers) who will approach homosexuals with that overused saying, “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!” If that’s the best you can do, you might wanna consider leaving it alone anyway! You can’t say to a person with, maybe cancer, for instance……I know how you may be feeling and here’s what helped me, if you never had cancer. Gay people need, first of all, understanding; not reprimanding. They need consoling words, not scolding words. When you’ve lived that homosexual lifestyle and and/or felt those same sex desires and then overcame it all wholeheartedly, then you have understanding and experiences sufficient enough to speak to the hearts and minds of active gays and lesbians. Then you would likely have naturally consoling words, rather than scolding words because you’re speaking from your heart……a heart filled with the love and compassion which comes to you only through the power of Jesus Christ. It’s time to consider that many gays are mature enough to appropriate more than the goo goo ga ga kind of ministering to them. Many of them have enough mature discernment to know the difference between ministry and plain old hate filled words! Time is running out. We must stop taking the easy way out by sitting back and waiting for those very rare opportunities to minister to knock on our doors. We must become willing to seek strategic ways of ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ to those who might open their ears and hearts and receive it.

  • […] and kindness too. Reading her posts have challenged how I viewed Miscarriage, Abortion, and the new USA Supreme Court Ruling on Same-Sex Marriage -> seriously that post is phenomenal. Becky challenges how I view marriage and motherhood, and I […]

  • Boyd Stewart says:

    “The Day That Love Won” is a wonderful piece!!!!! As a lifelong Christian (and major sinner), I have been struggling with my feelings concerning virtually everything this administration is doing. I have a woman friend who has embraced the gay lifestyle…very beautiful, talented, and a wonderful person in every way. Your article is masterful. Love should rule my heart, not hatred. Thanks for your thoughts!

  • Lindsay says:

    I pray your words break through the static. As Christians, we need to agree that the gospel and love of Christ is the one message we need to stand firm on. Shouting from the mountain about anything else hinders the message of the gospel – the one thing we know is truth beyond anyone ones belief.

  • Owl says:

    Your comments are so very true! My hubby and I are Catholic Christians. We both came into the Church at middle age. One of his grown children had been so convinced that her father would disown her, never speak to her again and definitely never love her, that she waited years and finally told me, out in public, with tears pouring down her face! She wanted to tell me, her step mom first because she couldn’t bear to loose her Daddy. I know some of this was vindictive ex wife torturing child to hurt Daddy (which is a whole other story of why I think hell probably has certain spots reserved for some people), but it broke both our hearts! Not that she is gay, but because her fear distanced her from her earthly father. I suspect if I were gay, I might feel the same fear with my Heavenly Father. BUT He loves her more than her Daddy and I ever could!?! I am not starting an argument in any way, merely telling a story about my own circumstances.

    Anyway, you stated that being a Christian is harder than ever… but at least we aren’t getting our heads chopped off for it!! God bless you for reminding us that our first duty is love.

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