Well, the day is over. The kids are in bed, and I’m sitting here knowing that tomorrow pretty much looks just like today. Because while the details might be slightly different, the pattern of endless giving and caring and pouring my heart out won’t change.
This… is my day. (Maybe you can relate.)
Wake up
Get baby
Feed baby in highchair
Feed kids
Clean up breakfast with baby on my hip
Put baby on the floor to crawl because he doesn’t want to be on my hip anymore
Chase baby
Put baby in pack-n-play while I race through cleaning up the rest of breakfast
Think about folding clothes – check email/facebook instead
Get baby out of pack-n-play
Chase baby all over the house
Close all the doors and try to corral baby
Fold 3 items of clothing
Help my bigger kids with… life (opening juice box, fixing toy, taking armfuls of toys upstairs)
Try to fold again
Remember it is trash day
Race outside in my pajamas with a baby on my hip (hope the neighbors don’t notice)
Take cans to curb/wave at sanitation workers as they pull up to my house (wish that I had put on appropriate clothing)
Settle an argument between the big kids about something important like who touched the toy first
Try to fold again
Baby is ready for a nap.
Rock baby, feed baby, baby asleep…
Warmly remind big kids of the importance of NOT WAKING UP THE BABY OR SO HELP ME.
Try to take a shower
Get halfway through shampoo when a snack request comes from the other side of the shower curtain.
Promise snack momentarily.
Hear fighting from the play room about promised snack
Speed through rinse cycle and race to remind fussing children of certain siblings resting DON’T WAKE UP THE BABY!
Dress
Make snack
Clean up snack
Open emails – reply to two
Think about folding laundry
Pay bills instead
Help kids begin large craft/play project like beads or play dough
They play nicely – for five minutes
Decide to turn on the TV so fussing doesn’t wake up baby
Baby wakes up anyway
Lunch time
Feed the baby
Feed the kids
Clean up lunch with baby on my hip
Put baby down
Chase baby all over
Give up on cleaning
Remember that I haven’t eaten all day.
Treat myself to gourmet “Sandwich Stix” (aka the leftover sliced crusts)
Think briefly about dinner plans.
Investigate suspicious giggling.
Find the big kids “making a fort” out of all of their clean bedding.
Praise the Lord that they are entertaining themselves.
Gather laundry and begin a load.
Make a few phone calls.
All hell breaks loose – because – I’m on the phone and of course.
Load everyone up in the car to run errands.
Stop at the grocery store.
Regret not going earlier when it wasn’t naptime.
Put ground beef, bananas, milk and some spaghetti sauce in my basket – hope that I can make dinner using these things at home.
Drop grocery bags in the kitchen next to left over lunch.
Make snacks.
Feed baby.
Put away groceries.
Unload the dryer (add to pile on the couch)
Move clean clothes to dryer/start new load.
Think about folding laundry.
Decide to spend a few minutes with the big kids.
Keep baby from eating everything small off the ground in playroom.
Pick up my phone/check Facebook/feel guilty/put phone down/engage with kids… repeat.
Put baby in highchair with a snack while I start dinner.
Survey the damage of the day – clothes, dishes, groceries, wrecked beds.
Call kids and have them help me do the “Daddy dash” – 15 minute whirlwind clean up.
Finish making dinner with baby on my hip.
Greet husband.
Feed family.
Feed baby.
Clean up baby.
Pass baby duties to daddy.
Clean up the kitchen.
Give baths.
Make beds.
Put baby to bed.
Read big kids books.
Remind them of sleeping baby.
Put them to bed. Pray. Give them final drinks of water. Hugs. Kisses. Stay a minute. Hug again. Blow kisses from across the room as I turn out the light and rejoice that I’m off duty.
Sit down, check Facebook, unwind a minute, and regret not spending more time with my kids.
I wrote this note and hung it in my kitchen about a week ago. It simply says, “Choose them.” It’s a reminder that the dishes and the laundry and all of that other stuff is far less important than spending time with my kids. But no matter how many times I see it… no matter how many times I choose my kids over the other things on my list… I can’t help but feel like they have had me – but they haven’t had the best of me.
Do you ever feel that way too? Do you ever feel like you were there, but you weren’t really “there?”
I know that is such a heavy feeling, Momma. You wonder if there’s enough of you to go around. You wonder where you can take so that you can give where it really matters.
Tonight, as I sit and think back over my day, and as I plan for tomorrow, I am keeping this one thing in mind…
Tomorrow, I will give them the best of me, and I will have grace to remember that whatever that looks like is okay – because I’m doing the very best that I can. And I bet you are too.
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