Momma, You’re Doing Better Than You Think

I stood there in the middle of the elementary school crying. As she told me about what had happened on the playground, I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t keep back the tears.

Doing Better Than You Think

I had dropped Kolton off at school this morning just like every other morning (except this morning we weren’t the last ones there.)

“Here is your backpack. Here is your lunch. Grab your coat, sweetie,” I said as I opened the van door.

Except it wasn’t there. I had tried my hardest to get out the door this morning without forgetting anything. Most days, I have to make a trip to the school before noon because something has inevitably been left on the kitchen counter or in the backseat of the van. This morning was going to be different. As a matter of fact, I had written a little note to his teacher and tucked it into his kindergarten folder.

“The last few weeks have been crazy. Trying to get it all together. We will try not to be the last ones to school every day. Thanks for all you do.” (Or something like that.)

But as he climbed out of the van without his coat, I promised that I would bring it to him before morning recess. He hugged me, we crossed the street together, and then he went running into the building.

The rest of the morning went on like any other day. I took my daughter to school… and life just happened as usual.

Except, as I was standing in my house at 9:45, I realized that I hadn’t brought my son his coat.

What time to do they go outside!?  I grabbed my own shoes and car keys and flew out the door.

“He’s going to be freezing. Maybe they kept him inside. Maybe they didn’t make him go out without his coat today. Oh my gosh. I feel so awful. How did I get so busy I forgot his coat?!”

I worried the entire way there and into the building.

“Is kindergarten outside yet!?” I asked the receptionist as I burst through the front door imagining my son shivering in the cold.

“I think they just went out there.”

I knew I shouldn’t run. But I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t believe that I had let him down.

But as I came around the corner, I saw him, lined up against the wall with all of his friends looking down the hall and hoping that any minute I would show up with his little coat.

He ran to me and squeezed my legs.

“YOU CAME!”

“I came,” I replied holding him tight and holding back tears. “I made it.”

I try so hard to be the best momma I can be to my kids, and despite my best efforts some days I feel like I’m just failing at it. I worry that I’m letting them down. I am afraid that they don’t know how much I love them. Do you ever feel this way?

But today was different. I was in the middle of that mom-guilt when I was stopped by one of Kolton’s teachers.

“Hey. I need to talk to you,” she said as she pulled me aside. “I need to tell you what happened on the play ground the other day.”

I just stood there waiting to hear how my son was struggling or how someone had been mean to him. A million thoughts passed through my mind, but as she began to speak… I just started to cry. I couldn’t help it.  She said that she saw Kolton sitting alone and looking a little sad. When she asked him what was wrong, he said that all of his friends wanted to play zombies and he wasn’t supposed to. He said that his momma had told him not to… that it wasn’t good.

She said, “I know that as parents you don’t always get to know everything that goes on while they are at school, but I wanted to tell you that his character is shining through. He is doing what he knows is right even when you’re not around.”

And I cried. I cried right there in the middle of the elementary school. Not because my kid didn’t play zombies with his friends (because really it is just a personal conviction of ours. It doesn’t mean the other kids who were playing were wrong for doing it… it is just a belief unique to our house) But I was crying because my kid listened to what I had told him mattered. He was living out my hopes for him. He had heard me.

Friend, it is hard raising good kids in our world today. It is hard raising kids period. But if you feel like you’re totally blowing it, if you feel like you’re a total mess some days, I just want to remind you…

This momma thing is stinkin’ hard, friend, and there are so many things to worry that we might be getting wrong. But there is something about having a person stop you and look you in the eye and say,

It’s paying off. All that hard work? It’s worth it. They’re getting it. They’re hearing you. They might not seem like it all of the time, but they’re listening. They’re learning. They’re becoming… all thanks to you. And someday soon there will be a return on each moment of love that you pour out. Because just when you’re certain that something like a forgotten coat, or a lost temper, or a lack of patience, or a missed field trip defines your motherhood, you realize that you’re doing so much better than you think.

Keep it up, Momma.

with-love-becky

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  • Ashley says:

    Every time that I read your posts, I feel like you are speaking to me. I truly enjoy your words, stories, and prayers. Thank you!

  • Domi says:

    My eyes fill with tears sweet Becky as God speaks through you to mamas worldwide.
    Amen sister, Amen.

  • Monica says:

    I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your posts! As a business owner with my husband and a mother of four young boys, we live a crazy life and your articles are exactly what I need for encouragement. Thank you so much! It makes me feel like I’m not the only mother out there feeling some days like I’m barely making it through. God bless you!

  • Whitney says:

    I really needed this, especially as a young mom. Raising a son is difficult but I love reading your posts. Thank you :)

  • Ari Roberts says:

    Love this post thank you for this 😊

  • Mandy Houck says:

    WOW…. that was amazing…… thank you for sharing…..THANK YOU!!

  • Mandy Houck says:

    Thank you … THANK YOU for sharing!! I needed to read this today.. just when I thought I am not getting through to my 4 year old son…..

  • Amber says:

    I hear ya Momma…I needed these words today! I also have three littles, and I always feel like I’m not doing quite enough, or good enough. My fear is that I’m letting them down some days. Thank you for your words today because this Momma needed them too!

  • Gina Davis says:

    This totally made me cry. I have boys so it really hit home. What a sweet boy.

  • Dana Throgmorton says:

    Becky, Thank you for your words. Of encouragement, of love between mommies. It’s so hard. I am the mother of three grown children, one a drug addict. She is the mother of six children, most the children of different fathers. My husband and I are raising the two oldest ones. A sixteen year old boy and a twelve year old girl. They are amazing children. The boy is a straight “A” student. My Colby, such an amazing and wonderful kid. And Rainey, the twelve year old girl, she makes excellent grades as well. They both are affected by a basically missing mother in different ways. I won’t go into that, but let me say raising kids is hard, at any age but God made us young, incredibly naive for a reason. Not to be 55 and 56 trying to keep up with teenagers and all the other things associated with growing, beer busy young ones. So to say I feel like I’m failing is a huge understatement. I try hard but I never, ever feel like I’m doing enough. Praying and scared of messing up. Dana

  • kristen says:

    i just have to say that i always look forward to reading your posts. they are very thoughtful and encouraging and you are wise beyond your years. your heart really shines through in your writing. thank you for reassuring us mamas that we’re not alone and that we all feel inadequate sometimes, but that, in the end, we’re doing the best we can, the best we know how with all God gave us.

  • Jennifer Cady says:

    Just what I needed to read today…Thank you for this!

  • Cara says:

    Beautifully written.
    We all seem to have moments like this.
    I just wrote book for same reason. “Lose that Mommy Guilt, Tales and Tips from an Imperfect Mom”
    #mommyguilt #yougotthis
    So glad I came across your blog. 😄

  • Walt G says:

    Nobody is perfect, when your child seems to ignore you & doing everything except listening to what your saying. Low & behold the little one do somehow get it, & it surfaces when it needs too. Your doing great, love them, give them some attention (time with them) & the rest will surface. His little Guardian Angel puts him just where he needs to be “Mom said that’s a no-no, or I shouldn’t do that”. & he sits sadly but knows mom is right. That’s a little one far beyond his years & friends, he will do well in life. Keep up the good work. congratulations
    to be an exceptional “MOM”

  • Kathy Brock says:

    My 42 year old son recently passed away. One of our last conversations he said “Mom, you did a great job raising me up buy I made bad choices. Don’t blame yourself”…

    Loved this story. So sweet I cried. And cried tooo

  • Theresa says:

    This touched my heart so much this morning. Thank you.

  • […] frenzy about Bruce turned Caitlyn Jenner. From there, I clicked around reading more posts (like this one and also this one about being the mama of a strong willed child. Where was she 15 years ago when […]

  • Linda says:

    I read this before. As i read it again today, i teared up. Again. My hubby and i took our 4 kids, ages 3,4,6, and 8, to Saturday afternoon mass last week. Not at our usual church, either. There sere several trips to the bathroom, some climbing back and forth in the pew, and a bit of loud whispering. As we walked back to our van, a woman stopped, rolled down her window, and told us how well behaved our children were. Now, deep down, i know they’re not really monsters. I guess sometimes it just takes a perfect stranger to remind me.

  • Debora Thompson says:

    Thank you AGAIN. You are amazing. And you keep doing it everyday!

  • mandy says:

    Thank you Becky, When I read your posts it is just what I need at that moment. It makes me feel like im not the only one thinking im doing it all wrong. Give’s me hope to keep trusting the Lord to get me thru and to raise good kids.

  • Kelly says:

    In tears. Thank you. I seriously enjoy your posts. (And I LOVED your book too!)

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