To the Mom With the Cozy Coupe in Her Living Room

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There has been a red Fisher Price Cozy Coupe parked in my living room for the last five years. We bought our first little plastic car when my oldest son turned one. He enjoyed climbing inside and eating his snack and putting his drink in the cup holder in the back.

For the most part, in the years that followed, you could find that car parked somewhere in our living room or kitchen. When I was at home all day and didn’t have any mommy friends, we would make laps around the inside of our house for what seemed like hours. He would honk the horn, and I would push.

Five years and two kids later, our original cozy coup has been upgraded to a roofless fire truck with a water sprayer hose. My youngest doesn’t have the luxury of enjoying a cup holder like his big brother and sister did, but he has two energetic siblings who take turns pushing him around the couches and crashing into my cabinets.

I try to remember that this is their house too.

Yeah. We learn to respect our things and do our best to put toys away when we are done. But that little car parked in the corner day in and day out for the last five years has reminded me throughout each one that my living room… my house… well, it looks like kids live here – because kids live here.

Some days, I feel like I chase my little ones around picking up messes after them. They “help,” but… their help is sometimes more work. It teaches good lessons on how to contribute to our family, but still… some days I feel like I never stop moving. And the days that I don’t follow them around, I just keep telling myself that at bedtime I will go around and make the house look the way I want. I will put the toys in their baskets and the shoes in their bedrooms and arrange my couch cushions and pillows and finally take that rogue Pampers box that has been climbed in and over all day long out to the trash.

But when the end of the day finally arrives, I look around and ask myself, “What did I accomplish today? What projects did I complete?” I never stopped moving, and yet I feel like I barely maintained. There are toys everywhere. There are dishes to wash and baskets and couches full of clothes to fold. What did I do all day?

I think moms, especially us mommas of little ones, are forever battling the reality that our babies make messes. We try to keep order, but often, simple tasks like folding laundry or emptying a dishwasher are a much more complicated project. While we are busy with one chore, our kids are making five more for us to clean up.

But friend? The truth is, if you’re looking around your house tonight and there is still so much to do… you told yourself all day long that when they were asleep you’d tackle all those projects that were so hard to complete when they were awake… and you’re just out of energy… Can you just remember this with me for a second?

It’s okay for your home to look like you have children. It’s not just okay when you get all of it picked up and tidied and put away… not just when the car is parked in the corner and everything looks neat.

It’s okay in the middle of it. It’s okay when life is strewn around you. I promise we’re not judging. I promise that your messiest moments are really not offensive to most other moms. We get it. We understand how hard you work. We understand that some days your house is just… a literal disaster.

But you are not. Your disaster of a house does not mean you are a disaster of a woman.

And someday… they tell us that we’ll miss these messes. We’ll miss the craziness. They say that someday when the house has everything in place we will wish we still had little ones to come and throw the socks all over the floor. And we know they are right. But while their advice might not help us today… maybe we should take a second when life looks the least put together and remember…

The blessing of having a little red car parked in the corner.

with-love-becky

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  • Kenna says:

    Wow! This was so needed right now. I’m running around trying to make my house “presentable” for my son’s birthday party that was supposed to be at the playground, but because of [possible] snow is now at my house. I loved this line “I try to remember that this is their house too.”. Thank you! I needed to read this tonight. :)

  • Jessi Spear says:

    I just want to take a moment and let you know how NORMAL your posts make me feel. It’s easy to get caught up in our daily routine and then stop and think I didn’t even accomplish anything except maybe clean up one mess just to make another. I love your posts for reminding me I’m not alone in my daily mama struggles. Thank you! :)

  • Aimee says:

    I literally have a cozy coupe in my living room. My 14 year old parks it in the corner constantly but the 18 month old loves it.

  • Amy says:

    You are so right! I know when I go to another mothers house I am not offended by the “mess”. I always say “don’t apologize for the mess. I have kids too. I get it.” And yet, I panic at he bought of anyone just dropping by because it looks like a tornado hit a toy store at my house at any given time. A great reminder that it is ok. Also, glad I am not the only crazy parent that allows the cozy coupe to be played with in the house! :)

  • Sherry Hadinger says:

    Yes!!! I remember those days so much😃 As a mother of eleven, oldest being 36 and the youngest 15 I was constantly in clean up mode, and always seemed frustrated. God surely helped me over the years to keep on putting my priorities back in order. I do miss those days, although we have been blessed with 14 grandchildren to date, and when they visit we are back to clean ups. I realized I was given the most important job in life of raising these special gems from God, and I absolutely loved it😃

  • Ed says:

    Why are these articles always addressed just toward moms? How about us fathers who stay home with kids when we aren’t working at the fire station?

    • Jolene says:

      I would like to respectfully refer you to Becky’s “About” page which contains this statement:

      “I have a passion to see the hearts of women set free as they encounter the Truth found in God’s presence. That is the purpose of this page . . .”

      Your role as a father and care giver is so important, Ed. Thank you for building into your children’s lives, and I pray that you can find encouragement and hope here on Becky’s page even though her ministry is deliberately focused on women.

  • Teena Cannon says:

    Great reminder of how fast the years pass. Our cozy coupe is in the attic right now. It was so special to my two boys, I just couldn’t get rid of it. Mine are 18 & 15 and I dearly miss those days.

  • Debbie says:

    I really Loved this :)

  • Jessica Hanson says:

    Thanks, a million times over. We don’t have a cozy coupe, but we do have the red wagon that’s survived five little boys. I think I’ll keep it forever. <3

  • Becky P says:

    This is my exact struggle RIGHT now! I have 4 children with my youngest being 15 months. The others range in age from 13 to 8. The older siblings will help, but constantly have to be delegated to and that in itself, is draining. Thank you for this reassuring message, reminding me that one day, I’ll miss this mess!

  • Tonya says:

    I loved this little story. And so much of it is true. My son whos now 8 had a cozy coupe. It was in and out of my house depending on the weather. I remember it sitting in a corner of our house during the winter months. He played with it daily, it was one of his favorite things. I was always a bit OCD before I had children. But once my boy became a toddler, that soon ended. It drove me batty for awhile, but eventually I gave in and you are right….its ok. Its ok because its “clean dirt” (that’s what I called it lol). I had to let my son live and have fun. To tear stuff out and make his mess because to him, that’s what he liked and he had a ball. I was so exhausted by the time bedtime rolled around I couldn’t move sometimes. My house hasn’t been in OCD order since he was a toddler and Im ok with that. Ill worry about that when he leaves home but I can tell you, Id much rather have it messy and him here than to even think of him leaving me. Im a single parent and have been his entire life. That day will come that I have to turn him lose and I dread it so bad. Hopefully he will give me grand babies before I get too old enjoy them and I can relive that messiness through them. And yes, I will have the Cozy Coupe right here waiting for them…..:)

  • Mary says:

    Henry Aaron was a famous baseball player in Milwaukee and Atlanta. He had a pretty nice house in Atlanta when his kids were growing up. Some of his neighbors thought he needed to hire a gardner and fancy up his lawn. He said, “No…we are not growing grass here. We are raising children.”

  • Jenn symczak says:

    I really needed to hear this, thank you! 💖
    As my 11 month old tears my living room apart again and im thinking to myself no not again … I really needed to hear this!! I literally just cried while reading this, it’s my life in a nutshell, and it was nice to hear that maybe I’m not always being judged, and my house dosn’t have to be picture perfect. After all, there is a 13 year old, 7 year old, and an 11 month old living here.

  • Dorrie Wade says:

    I read this right as I was trying to take a “Mommy-break” before cleaning my “wreck” of a living-room. Now I am smiling with tears in my eyes. Why? because to my right…next to the couch is my son’s red cozy coupe.

  • Heather says:

    I love this. I need to hear this everyday, I have a six year old, 5 year ol, and an 28 mo. old! I struggle with this all of the time, especially when the oldest two are home from school on break! I want to enjoy every moment, but struggle to do so, dividing my time with my oldest,”because she is my only girl, and wants me to play with her all day long, ” and having my now 5 year old son who was almost completely deaf until he was 2, and we didn’t know it, who now has a developmental delay because of that, and trying to work with him to get him ready for kindergarten, and now having my baby boy who lets face it is a toddler, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do, I feel so stretched between my time with all of them, plus fighting my ocd, and literally having to talk myself down from not completely cracking because the house is almost always a disaster! I love my children more than anything in this world, but most of the time I don’t feel like I’m doing the best at being a good mom, because I can’t just sit and let them completely have me!!! And I do get upset when I’ve worked like a mad dog all day in the house, and turn around in an hour and it’s back to square one. I just wish I could divide my time better, and come up with some sort of balance! This has truly helped me today though, I just need to see sometimes that it’s ok, for everything NOT to be perfect, and I know I will miss this one day, and I wouldn’t trade my life for anything in the world, it’s just hard to realize this all the time in the midst of the craziness! Thank u for this today!

  • Tori says:

    Love this: “your disaster of a house does not mean you are a disaster of a woman”. So much truth to this and yet it is so difficult to believe. I, along with many other mom’s I am sure, always seem to view my house as an extension of myself. Thank you for the reminder that just because our houses are messy, it shouldn’t discount the beautiful women we are within. <3
    Tori
    http://www.themamanurse.com

  • Tina Askins says:

    I donated my twins’ Cozy Coupes to the church nursery when they outgrew them. Now when I’m in there with the babies, I enjoy watching new little ones play with them. My twins are now in college and driving real cars and my house stays clean. But I really miss that mess!

  • Crystal says:

    Oh how I love this! This describes my life to a T. I am the mother of three boys ages 9, 4, and 2, and this couldn’t be more accurate! My house is always full of toys, snacks, socks, etc but honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I do get discouraged some days but this will be my reminder to cherish those messy boys I love to call all mine!

  • RJ says:

    I found this entry very encouraging.
    However, as with most blogs of this kind, Dad is never mentioned. Is it assumed that Dads don’t help out with any of this stuff? I’ve always thought of it as a team effort. It always seems as if Mom is alone in trying to maintain the house or look after the kids.

  • garysgirl says:

    Oh man this is the best!! I love what you said about the blessing of having a cozy coupe in the corner. :) We don’t have one but we sure have a ton of other toys and little riding vehicles that are usually strewn all over the floor/house. Haha I have 4 (6, 4.5, 2 and 2.5 months-all boys) and goodness can they make a mess! Haha But yeah I try to remember that I’ll miss all the messes one day…sometimes it’s hard to think like that in the midst of the chaos but I know it’s true!! :)) Thank you for always lifting us women up, Becky! It really helps me so much to realize I’m not alone. <3

  • garysgirl says:

    Oh! And I forgot to mention that I love that you have a pile of stuff on top of your fridge (we always have and probably always will lol) and stuff on your counter. And that you’re not afraid to post pics of a house that isn’t completely mess free! ;)) <3 Ours looks much like this pretty much daily and I pick it up mostly at night after the little have fallen asleep.

  • Sara says:

    Love this HARD!

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