An Honest Valentine For My Husband

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Happy Valentine’s Day to My Husband
 the man who lives in my house, and sleeps in my bed, and that I don’t get to connect with very often.

Hi. I love you.

It’s nice to stop and acknowledge that we are married, and that you are my husband and I am your wife when we are usually too busy being mom and dad to talk about it. We should really talk more. I’m not sure when, but I’d like it if we could find the time… because I miss you. I miss there being more time for us.

I like you most days. The rest of the time you drive me crazy. The good news is… I’m in it for both types of days.

I meant to tell you that it was really nice when you bought yourself a drink that you knew I’d like too so I could have some of it. It wasn’t like you bought me my own drink, because you weren’t sure I wanted one. But still, I felt like you remembered me that day. You weren’t with me, and you thought about me, and that made me feel special. So thanks. All the little stuff like that matters… just so you know. I notice it – even when you’re not sure I do.

I notice you too.

I know you probably feel like I look right past you when I’m busy taking care of the kids and running all over the place. Sorry. I probably do look past you some of the time… Okay, most of the time. But this is me looking at you now. This is me turning toward you and saying some of the things I should probably say more often.

Like…

Thanks – Thanks for loving me through these messy, chaotic, and yet, somehow crazy rewarding years. I’m glad we’re in all this *gestures around the room and house pointing at our kids and life and that huge pile of laundry* together. I cannot imagine running this whole show without you. I don’t ever want to have to do that.

I should also say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the things I don’t do that I should to show you that I love you, and I’m sorry for not always giving you as much grace as I should. I get frustrated with you sometimes… mostly because I’m exhausted, and then I don’t always have the energy to correct my own feelings (Even when I know I’m wrong.) This is me admitting that I’m not always right, and saying that I’m sorry for not being more intentional. I’ll work on all of it. (Sincerely.)

And finally, this is me saying I love you. Not like when we were dating. Not like when I would send you those long text messages spilling my heart out saying things like, “You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep.” None of that business.

This is me professing my honest ten years of marriage and three kids later – love.

My… sorry I yelled last week when it wasn’t your fault – love.

My… I still think your cologne is the best smell in the entire world – love.

My… when you take careful care of our kids and are gentle with their hearts, it makes me want to have ten more babies with you – love.

My… thanks for fixing the oven last week when it was broken – love.

My… I realize that we pick the person we are going to love, and I still choose you – love.

Because the truth is, none of this is perfect. Not us. Not life. Not any of it. But I pick your imperfections over anyone else’s, and I pick our imperfect story over any other. And at the end of the day, all that matters is that you still choose me too.

And that’s how I know we’re going to make it. That’s how I know that someday on the other side of these crazy years we won’t be strangers staring at each other across an empty dinner table. Because were holding tightly to the Lord, and we’re holding tightly to one another, and each day we keep saying, “Yes” to everything this life has to offer… together.

So, I’ll say it again, and hope that by now you understand what I really mean when I say it.

Happy Valentine’s Day to My Husband – the man who lives in my house, and sleeps in my bed, and that I don’t get to connect with very often.

Hi. I love you.

 

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Comments

  • Beth says:

    It’s so nice to know that there is some one else our there with the same crazy life, same flaws. Same struggle with connecting.

  • Bethy D says:

    Thank you so much! I enjoyed reading your blog post. I am 21 and single and sometimes when I hear about how crazy and difficult and overwhelming parenthood can be, I feel like choosing an alternative route. Reading your post, I can see that despite the craziness; loyalty, love, honor, respect, and happiness can be found in marriage. It gives me hope that someday (despite my imperfections) I will be able to make a happy life with someone and have joy. I will have joy in the little moments and occasionally in big ones. Thank you for being a wonderful example and sharing your light with others.

  • Louisiana Dad says:

    WOW…. I’ve been married for going on 14 years to a beautiful woman. We have two kids who are 6 years old. Out of the blue this morning my wife sent this to me. The words you wrote down, every last one of them, describes our hectically rewarding life together perfectly. So thank you for putting into words what so many of us fail to. From one, in it for the long haul, married couple to another. May you and your husband never lose sight of whats important.

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