When You Can’t Be Everything for Everyone Thursday, February 1st, 2018
I get it. You looked into their sweet little eyes and wondered, “Do you feel like I’m too busy? Do you know that I feel like I’m failing you?”
You looked at your husband and thought, “Do you know that I wish there was more time for us, too? Like, do you know that I hate feeling like I’m letting you down?”
You looked around your house and said to yourself, “I’ll never get caught up with all of this. IT’S POINTLESS! It’s always going to be this chaotic.”
Husband. Family. Kids. Jobs. Home. Friends. Responsibilities. Commitments.
Like a million spinning plates in the air, you run from obligation to obligation… and you feel like there’s no way… there’s just no physical way that you can keep it all going. You’re diving from one event, one person, one need to the next and it’s still not enough. Faster and faster, more and more, you’re spinning and going and doing your best, but they’re coming down all around you. You feel them slipping.
And you feel panicked, because these aren’t fragile dishes… it’s not grandma’s china. These are the people and the responsibilities you love most. They are the hearts trusted to YOUR care. And no matter what you do, there never seems to be enough of you to go around.
And after trying for so long, you just resign to believing that your children will always have a mom who was never fully happy and never fully present and who will never fully be what they need.
You believe that your husband will never have the wife you feel he deserves and the lover you wish you could be for him.
You decide that your house is a lost cause, your friendships won’t ever be as deep is they should be, and your Bible study will just have to be… let’s be honest… whatever inspirational verse gets posted to the internet that you happen to scroll by when you’re escaping to social media to keep your mind from exploding.
Does any of this sound familiar?
SO, this is the part of the article where I give great advice. This is where I tell you that you can find time here or there to invest in your children or your marriage. This is how you balance being both a wife and a mom. This is how you find time to prioritize what matters most in your life… If this was that kind of article.
But this isn’t that kind of article this time. Do you know what it is? This is where I tell you…
Yessss!!! I know!!!! I get it! It sucks. It sucks feeling like you’re letting everyone down, but you don’t know how to stretch yourself any more than you already are. It sucks feeling like a failure. It sucks feeling like there’s not any help coming, and like it’s never going to get easier. SUCKS.
But this is also where I point out the lies so that we can replace them with the Truth.
So, let’s start here. Your children? They’re not being slighted because YOU are their mom.
For as long as I have breath in my body, I will say it again and again… God knew the kids you’d have. He knew all of their weird quirks and their special individualized needs. He knew their personalities and their learning styles. He knew their passions, their successes and even their potential pitfalls… and He looked across space and time and said, “She’s the mom for this person. Together she and I can raise this child to be the person I’ve created them to be. She’s the best mom for this kid.”
Listen, friend, it is a flat lie that you aren’t ever going to be enough for your children. Do you know why? I’ll tell you. Your children don’t actually need you to be their everything. The same goes for your husband and your co-workers and the rest of your family and friends. They need JESUS to be their everything. They need you to point to Him as often as you can, while showing them that you need Jesus as much as they do. (That’s so good, right?!)
Look, when you identify the lies you’re believing about your life, and how hard it is and how impossible it all feels and how you feel like you’re just this big disappointment to everyone, you can ask the Lord to replace those lies with His Truth.
I don’t know what you have to do next. I don’t know how you came across this post, but I do know this. You don’t have to do any of this alone. You don’t have one spinning plate that God doesn’t care about. He cares about everything you care about… probably more than you care about it… and most importantly, He cares about you.
I get it. Sometimes you just need someone to sit with you while you take a deep breath and decide you’re ready to get back up and face it all.
So, take a deep breath with me, and let’s ask Jesus to help us.
Father, Help. We know that You want us to come to You. We know that You don’t want us to struggle alone. Lord, right now we choose to stop listening to the Enemy, pointing out all of our failures, and we pause to tune our hearts to Your voice. And as we listen closely, we hear You saying,
“Come here. I know you’re weary. I’ll give you rest. A rest that comes just by sharing your heart with Me. A rest that comes from My presence. You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to try alone. I love you. I’ve got you. Let’s keep going together.”
You are such a kind dad. Like, a really nice dad, and sometimes we forget how much You want to help us. We forget how You’re just waiting for us to say, “I can’t do this!” Thank You for not abandoning us. Help us do the next thing in front of us. And Lord, remind us of Your love in a special way today. Just because You love us. In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.
Okay. Back at it. But this time, more grace. Less guilt.
SO much love,