Comments on: Beware of Quicksand: How One Stranger’s Comment Changed My Marriage Forever

By: Adam

Adam — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 21:37:57 +0000

As a man with a Godly wife I love this and also need to say it takes 3 for marriage to work God, wife, and husband.

By: Sara

Sara — Sat, 18 Mar 2017 14:44:42 +0000

What a powerful reminder of how quickly we can step in the wrong direction with our marriages and our thoughts. Thank you for this.

By: Dee

Dee — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 20:12:32 +0000

“We should remember that the love that we crave from our spouse is often the love that we have to give them….”
Powerful and true. I had a situation occur this morning with my husband of 31 years in which I wanted to react negatively. I prayed several times for the Lord to help me say/do the right thing according to Him. Even tho I was in the right and wanted to prove it, I waited for His direction. He led me here, to this post. I don’t need to prove I’m right, I need to love and forgive and “let it go” as the song goes. Thank you, thank you.

By: Laurie D

Laurie D — Sun, 18 Sep 2016 03:51:58 +0000

In reply to CJ. We often had "date night" at home when our kids were little. We would feed them early and then when they were in bed, we would have a special dinner and watch a movie or play a game or just visit.

By: The Good Wife

The Good Wife — Sat, 17 Sep 2016 17:59:24 +0000

In reply to Michael. As the good wife who DID go home to her husband, build him up, dote on him, offer sex as stress relief... You name it, I was building him up and was STILL ignored for over 25 years. This pisses me off that the wife still gets all the blame. I am tired of apologizing for being devalued, ignored, & put down. Or apologizing for finally being HAPPY with someone who loves, values, & cherishes me the way it should be!

By: Joyce Bernard

Joyce Bernard — Sat, 17 Sep 2016 14:12:20 +0000

Love this story, just found you, wish I would’ve known you in my years of raising children, I know you are far younger than I am, I was a single mom raising 4 children by myself and I made mistakes, but My Jesus got me though, my children were my whole life, there father never paid a penny of his child support, it was all left up to me, and had to work every job I could get to keep a roof over us, and food on the table etc, funny, have never spoken of this to anyone, keep up your good words, Jesus is my everything today.

By: Katie

Katie — Sat, 17 Sep 2016 05:51:27 +0000

In reply to Elizabeth.

I don’t think the guy’s motivations are really in view here. He probably was being a nice guy. His observation isn’t the quicksand, it’s the choice to take his remark and potentially run with it in a dangerous direction that is the quicksand. I don’t think the author is saying we need to be skeptical of kind/encouraging remarks from the opposite sex–just keep them in perspective and overall fiercely guard our marriages.

By: Charity

Charity — Fri, 16 Sep 2016 20:23:05 +0000

I think this was a wonderful post… Very needed. However, as I was reading some of the comments, one of my initial reactions came back even more strongly – it’s not just the wife’s fault. Yes, I know she was writing for women and I admire and applaud that. Just remember, guys, you bear the responsibility of leading the marriage. I know you’re not perfect and I know you’re busy, and THAT’S OKAY. But you better be making it a HUGE priority to water your wife’s emotional garden so it’s not as tough for her to resist these kinds of things. This man could have just very well been trying to help, not flirt with another woman. Long story short – I think we ALL need to be VERY careful. Love your wives. Love your husbands.

By: Chelsea

Chelsea — Fri, 16 Sep 2016 19:33:47 +0000

I don’t disagree with the overall message of this, but IMHO, this actually disturbed me a little. I try to spread kind messages and smiles and love, like the man did in your story, to strangers every day. If someone takes it the wrong way, or differently than how I meant it, that’s their problem and not mine. Same for this. I think it’s purely your personal perception of his comment that made you feel the way you did. Not the devil or some other unnamed “enemy.” As humans, many aspects in and of who we are informs how we perceive things. I don’t think it’s healthy to place that blame elsewhere in a situation like this. If a simple, nice and totally appropriate comment made me feel that way, I’d want to dig deep to figure out why. Certainly, I don’t discredit your feelings or the courage to share this story. I respect that. And the moral of the story still holds true; I love how you chose to see the situation differently, but I think personal reflection and understanding why we are the way we are as individuals is so important, in any and every relationship. Especially with ourselves. This is something I feel passionately about, so I just had to share. <3

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 16 Sep 2016 16:32:05 +0000

Found your post through a friend on FB… This happened to me last week at a friends birthday party. My husband and I met our good friends at a restaurant for her birthday dinner and I saw another couple there that I hadn’t seen in YEARS. I was excited and happy to see them as we were old college friends. We all talked about old times and their new baby girl. I even mentioned a house warming party that we’d be throwing in a month or so and how I’d love it if they came. At the end of the night, we all said our goodbyes. My old friend–let’s call him John, came over to hug me goodbye and right at that moment he whispered, “you’re still beautiful”… MY HUSBAND WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ME AND HAD NO IDEA WHAT HAD HAPPENED. I remember feeling wrong about it but just shrugged it off and dismissed it as just a friendly comment. That night before going to bed I realized that what John said to me stayed with me and I didn’t like it. I felt a range of emotions and I went to bed with them on my mind. The next day I told my husband what had happened the night before–he was a bit heated about it but then realized how much it was bothering me and wished I had said something sooner. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and I want to keep it that way.