For the Momma Who Needs to Speak Kindly to Herself
I was on the phone with my mom telling her about my day.
“It sounds like you got a lot done,” she said.
But I didn’t feel like her words were true.
“It’s not a big deal. I didn’t get that much done. I have so much to do still,” I answered.
I was completely unimpressed with myself, so, what she said next surprised me.
“Rebecca Faith, can you just speak kindly to yourself for five minutes? Can you just be nice to Becky and be proud of her? Can you just talk nice to her?”
I started to cry. She was right. I wouldn’t dare tell a friend that what she had accomplished that day with her young kids wasn’t important or worth celebrating. As a matter of fact, I’d be the one cheering her on. I wouldn’t say, “You’re awful. Why can’t you get more done?”
But when it comes to me and the way I think about myself?
Gosh, I can be ugly.
“You ruined it.”
“This is your fault.”
“Did you see how your friend handled this?”
“Do you think that other woman talks to her husband that way? You’re awful.”
“You are so behind, and you have so much to do.”
“You’ll never get it done.”
“But this is just who you are.”
Can you imagine picking up the phone and telling a friend ANY of those things? Or telling any human being those things? EVER?
Read back over them. Can you imagine it?!
No. But we will let ourselves think that way about us! We don’t think of ourselves as mean, but we can be downright cruel when it comes to how we speak to ourselves. Right?
Here’s what I know for sure. Those thoughts, the mean and critical ones, aren’t God’s thoughts toward me… And if they aren’t His thoughts… then they have no business in my head or in my heart.
So, let’s try this right now before we do anything else. Say this to yourself. It’s cheesy, but you’ll be fine. Just say it.
“I am proud of you.”
“You are great at this.”
“You are doing the best you can.”
“You are a success.”
“You are a blessing to your family.”
“You deserve respect.”
“You deserve love.”
“You deserve appreciation.”
“You deserve kindness.”
“YOU ARE A WARRIOR WOMAN WHO STINKING GETS STUFF DONE AND YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON FOR THIS LIFE YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN.”
Try to speak kindly to yourself. You absolutely deserve it.
I’m a best-selling author and full-time work at home momma writing and raising my family with my husband, Jared, just outside of Nashville. I connect women with real hope.
my new book
in stores and online 3.31.20
midnight mom devotional
365 prayers to put your momma heart to rest
There is something about a quiet house in the midnight hours that causes stress and anxious thoughts that have been ignored throughout the day to rise to the surface of a mother’s heart. We understand how lonely and overwhelming those late-night hours can be. That’s why we wrote Midnight Mom Devotional: 365 Prayers to Put Your Momma Heart to Rest.
read the latest
from the blog
A CONVERSATION ON COMPARISON Me: “I’m having trouble.” God: “Tell me more...” (So I started to list all of the things I couldn’t do, making sure to name all of the people who did those things well.) And God answered, “Oh. That’s an easy one. You’re having difficulty...
He didn't know he was marrying someone with a mental illness... Mostly because we had only known each other for about five months when we got engaged. I was eighteen when he put that ring onto my finger and asked if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I...
I wander around my house and there is continual proof that I can’t keep up. I can’t always keep up with the dishes. I can’t keep up with the laundry-covered guest bed (even when I promise myself I’ll do one load a day.) I can’t keep up with the kids’ bathroom that...
Oh, anxious momma, your heart feels like it can only take so much. Your thoughts seem to never stop racing. You continually count your "okays." My kids are okay. My husband is okay. My house is okay. My job is okay. My family is okay. My friends are okay. And you...
I have this memory from when my kids were little... they had spent the morning playing with play doh and coloring and reading and dragging out all of their toys and FIGHTING. There had been tons of fighting. I had my four month old on my hip as I put away the dishes...
It's 12:36 a.m., and I'm the only one awake in my house. I had to wait until everyone was asleep so I could sneak presents in from the car. I have a feeling this won't be the only night this week that I stay up well-after everyone else has gone to bed. There are just...
She was on the other side of the wall in the next room. I couldn’t hear what the nurses were saying or her husband or friends. I couldn’t hear what words her family might have spoken to assure her. I couldn’t hear the calm words of the doctor or the likely beeping of...
You are strong. I imagine you don’t usually feel as if that word fits you. ...stressed tired overwhelmed anxious exhausted... Maybe it seems those words better fit how you feel most days. And maybe they do. Maybe you pour and give and never feel quite filled back up....
18 years ago, on September 11, 2001 at 9:41:15 a.m Richard Drew captured a horrific photograph of a man falling from the North Tower of the World Trade Center. One hour. There was one hour between the time the plane crashed into the North Tower and the time this...
Have a seat. Just stop scrolling for a second. Or thirty. Please. Here are five things someone needs to remind you this weekend. 1.) You get to the other side of this thing. God walks with you and He meets you there and that means it’s all okay in the end. It’s...
He had watched his older brother and sister stand on the front porch for their first day of school photos for years. He knew exactly what he was doing Monday morning when I said, “Okay, let’s take a picture before we leave for Pre-K.” He tucked his arms into his...
1. You feel kind of anxious. 2. You feel really anxious. 3. You feel overwhelmingly anxious. That’s it. No one needs to tell you to wait until you can’t breathe or you’re having panic attacks. Don’t wait until you are unable to perform simple tasks or you begin...