You Matter, Friend

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I like to pretend that we are friends you and me. I hope that you do too.

I imagine that you read these words while you sit at your desk or perhaps as you take a break from folding laundry. I imagine that you read them late at night when the house is quiet – or you grab five minutes to yourself while the kids are distracted with Legos or Mickey Mouse. I picture women just like you all over the world in waiting rooms, living rooms, hospital rooms, and offices reading these words. Each of them feeling connected. Remembering that we aren’t so alone.

We might not have met, but in my heart, (and often on this page) I call you friend.

We’re a lot a like you and me. We both have fears and worries, anxieties and stresses, hopes and dreams, and circumstances that we are walking through at this very moment.

We are each in the middle of our own stories. But even though details of our lives might be unique, I like to find where they intersect. I try to find our common ground and pull you up for a minute.

It’s nice up here as we take a break from the chaos of the day that seems to wait at the end of these words.

Take a deep breath with me.

Okay. Now, here’s the deal. In a minute, life will continue. The kids will need your attention, or you will have to reply to emails and help customers. Your dishes will still need to be washed, the clothes folded, the toys picked up. You will still have meetings and appointments and people waiting for you. You will still have to decide what to do next. You will still have to face what is up ahead…

But just for a second, just for a few more minutes – I want you to hang out here with me. I’m not asking you to do anything. Nope. Nothing.

I’m not asking you to give any more of yourself when you already feel spread thin. I’m not adding one more thing to your list of things to do.

Today, friend, I wanted to give you permission to just – be.

Yes. That’s it. Listen to my heart.

I know that some days you feel overlooked and underappreciated. I know that you feel overwhelmed by the demands you face. I know that you worry if you’re messing everything up, or if it is all too late, or worth it. I know that there are times when you feel unloved or unseen.

I don’t know what you’re walking through, but sometimes, you just need someone to say – I see you right where you are.

So, I will be the one to say it. I see you tired momma, worried wife, lonely woman. I see you dutiful employee, underappreciated worker, unpraised servant. I see you desperate, hurting, afraid. I see you broken, weary and uncertain.

And you know what?

It’s okay to feel the way that you do. Too often, we spend more time figuring out how we should feel and trying to feel that way than just giving ourselves permission to feel the way that we do.

So today, I’m proud to be the one to remind you that who you are, what you think, and how you feel… matters. You matter.

And no matter what you have waiting for you back in your day, I hope that you remember those words.

Have a great day, friend. Know that you are prayed for and thought of often.
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Comments

  • fr says:

    Thank you so much Becky. In this world where you’re put in so much pressure and there’s a lot of demand from you, you’re words are very comforting. Thanks so much!

  • Rene says:

    Thank you.

  • Cas says:

    Thank you so much, I needed to read/hear this today. More often than not I am late to work, because I am trying to meet my boys where they are. I am trying to help them learn how to communicate effectively, how to be patient and kind, and I am trying to show them how very much God loves them (because as a Mama that is my most important job, and it is something that has taken a little over 4 years to learn. Today, I was late to work once again, this time it was my own doing. My precious boys were over-tired last night, which led to meltdown after meltdown, and a migraine for this Mama that just wouldn’t quit, which led to this Mama going to bed without making sure that the boys “go-bags” weren’t ready to go this morning. Along with that, my DH had to be at work early this morning (sometimes I luck out and he’s there to help get us out the door a bit faster…sometimes it slows me down even more!). So getting a spirited pre-schooler and an active 7 month old ready and out the door in a timely fashion can be a challenge, without adding to have to prep their go bags to be ready to get out the door. To add to that, my parents wanted the boys today, which is usually convenient because they live on the way to my work), but the baby has just started to crawl really well and pull himself up to stand, and his eating schedule has changed since the last time she watched him, plus he’s a little dare devil and ornery to boot (seriously…most kids you can redirect…not this kid, he manages to stay on his mission until its complete or you completely remove him from the situation, I’ll have to figure out how to harness that determination without breaking his spirit). So there was a lot to relay to my parents (oh and on top of that, while it is my parents watching the boys…its really my mom doing most of the work, because my dad broke his elbow a few weeks ago, attempting to be neighborly by cutting back an over grown mulberry tree/bush for an older couple…well he fell off of their carport, while attempting to get back on the ladder he leaned on the carport (always have another person there to hold the ladder steady is the lesson with him ;-), we are blessed that he was not seriously injured)). I had already called my boss to let her know I would be late, and I text-ed my co-workers to let them know, one of which replied…”Should we just assume that you’ll be here by 8:30 everyday?”, this isn’t the first time comments have been made by my co-workers about my lateness. My boss’s thankfully, are mom’s and both have grandchildren, and understand that kids will be kids and there will be weeks were one or both just have had enough of getting up early everyday, and will give you a hard time. Most of my co-workers do not have children though and believe that forcing and over-powering my child, to get here on time would be more effective. Short term, it would be, long term it wouldn’t though. While being punctual is an important lesson, impressing on my boys that it is not OK to force someone to do something you want by using your size and strength is just as important. Teaching my boys compassion is important. Teaching my boys that they are more important to me than any job is important. My co-workers do not understand how much it stresses me to be late, how much it stresses me to appear to be unreliable, how much it stresses me to put my job at risk by being consistently late. Thankfully, I have boss’s who know what it is like to be mom’s, who know that there are seasons where you feel nothing can go right, and show me grace by giving me the chance to figure out this parenting two kids with a job thing. Thank you for reminding, that in the long run, it is not my coworkers opinion that matter to me, that it is God’s. That the effort I make and the job I do when I get here is what is really important, that the unseen effort made with my children is what matters, and that I matter. Thank you!

    Cas

  • Tamera says:

    You have no idea how this hit me today… strong and secure, steadfast …. my son’sbest friend committed suicide on Saturday. And grief has taken a hold of me like nothing iI’ve been through in life. He was amazing… he was everything you would want for a friend for your child…. and has gone… and I have no answers, no reassurance, now words that will do anything or help anyone and I am so broken right now, I feel like I have been shot in the chest and there is now a big gaping hole…of nothing but grief. I know God’s promises and believe that he will dry every tear… in his time… but now that everyone is out for the day, at camp and work… I skt in a pile of sobs begging God to give him back. ….please… fill me with feelings of lovefeelings that say that I do matter and I can help… help me show them Jesus lives in me, in this horribly broken me ….

  • Kinsey says:

    Thank you for your words sweet friend! You have a beautiful heart and I love receiving your encouragement each day!

  • Ashley says:

    This post was perfect and couldn’t have come at a better time. Everything you said is exactly how I feel and have been feeling. I’m so glad I’m obviously not the only one that has doubts about myself. Thank you for your motivational and “just perfect” posts.

  • Amanda says:

    Loved reading this. Needed to hear it today.

  • Leidy says:

    Thank you!!!

  • Becky,

    I needed this today! I like to pretend/consider you and me are friends too. I picture you and I sitting on a couch or at a table just chatting. You have encouraged me as a woman of God and a wife. You have spoken truth into my life! Thank you so much!

  • Sarah says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever commented before, but I read pretty much every post you write…and I love them all! I have called you a friend of mine when talking about one of your posts, only to stop and say, “well, I read her blog.” You seem to speak such truth into my life so very often though, that I can’t help but think of you and the words you write as my friend! So thank you for speaking the truth given to you by the Holy Spirit, and thank you for being such an encouragement to me and so many others like me. And please know that at least one of your readers does consider you her friend! :)

  • Cathy says:

    Thank you friend for speaking the words of my heart yet again. I hope and pray that our loving and gracious God will richly bless you the way you have me!!! Praying for a safe and easy delivery for your new little bundle of joy!!!!

  • Taylor Greenslade says:

    I like you a lot, Becky. Thank you for what you do. :)

  • Jen says:

    That is me. The underappreciated worker,desperate to find a new job and a way out. Crying after each shift on the drive home, just trying to let go of the stress of the day. Nothing left for the husband and children I love so much and wish I could spend more time with. Remember me in your prayers if you would. Your words always speak right to my heart. Thank you.

  • Lecia Smit says:

    Thanks Becky! Know that you are also often in our thoughts. Thanks for being a friend, all the way on the other side of the world.

  • Lauren says:

    You are such a beautiful writer Becky with such a captivating voice. I am a mother and a teacher and I follow many parenting/teaching blogs filled with lesson plans and activity ideas. But I have recently come across your blog and it’s just what I needed to expand my reading list – some food for the soul! So thank you. It’s lovely to come to a positive place on the internet.

    I have blogged tonight and have included a link to your blog and your recent ‘everything is going to be ok’ post which really spoke to me!
    Thank you again
    Lauren

  • Jessica says:

    Thanks for your words. I swear every day I read these posts I feel like there’s some parallel in our worlds and I am having those exact feelings at the same moment and your words just help me remember to quit worrying so much and just enjoy my new chapter in my life of being a mom. Things will go wrong but they will be okay. Thank you for putting so elaquintly in to words what I cannot seem to be able to express and for encouraging other moms out there. Much appreciated!

  • Holly says:

    I don’t usually read these blogs because I’m not a mom or wife, but I started reading some tonight, and even though our situations are different, we have some similarities in the fact that we are both close to the same age and we are Christians who have grown up in church. I wanted to thank you for writing this because I really needed this tonight. The church has a lot of resources and support for wives and moms, but it’s hard for people to sometimes relate to single Christians. It’s just nice to hear that we matter too and that we don’t have to pretend that we are always completely happy in our situation. Our struggles are different, but as women, we still have the same desires to be loved, appreciated, and taken care of. And nothing is greater than when we can share this with each other.

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