Red light. I reached behind my seat to pick up a fallen straw. It came back with a half-eaten sucker and goldfish dust stuck to it. Gross. I glanced into the backseat. Abandoned socks and shoes, toys and trinkets, crayons and Cheerios were strewn across the floor of my minivan like an explosion of toddler confetti.
That was the moment for me. Every momma has one specific moment where they realize that they aren’t just a woman who happens to have a child, but they have become a mom. For me, my moment came as I looked at that sticky straw.
I have no idea how it happened, but it has. I have become the mom with the nasty backseat who doesn’t care. I am not just some woman who has kids. I am a mom, and I have a juice stained crumby backseat to prove it.
Some days, there is no better picture of motherhood.
Life scattered and crammed inside four doors and a back hatch with rushed meals and hurried errands. Life full of “On the go” and “I gotta go!” and “Don’t make me come back there.” It is marked with soil and spills and mess after mess. The backseat is a portrait of motherhood in all of its glorious crumbiness.
Before we had children of our own, we promised ourselves clean backseats. We promised that we wouldn’t be like the rest. We said we would maintain neatness. But that was before we realized that being a momma meant living in the mess. Not just with crumbs and stains, but with the reality of life unedited.
Real life is messy.
The sacrifice of neat and tidy lives happened the moment we became mommas. It is the greatest and hardest responsibility on earth. I know that there are moments that you look back and remember the order that filled your former days. I know that being a mom isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it is day after day of just trying to maintain sanity.
Some days, there are no easy choices. Some days, being a mom means making the decisions that are the hardest ones to make. Moms know that often the best things for our kids will bring us the most heartache. We also know that the road that leads to strong, smart, God-fearing children takes the most work.
And while we could no more promise ourselves clean backseats than we could promise ourselves an easy life… It is the reality of motherhood. And you, friend, are doing a great job!
It is all worth it. Isn’t it?
So, keep going exhausted momma. You’re going to make it tired friend. We are the chauffer’s to greatness. There might be days when it is crumbier than we thought it would be, but it is sweeter than we ever imagined.
