Growing up, I learned well the system of church. Some of my earliest memories involve Sunday School lessons and nursery friend playdates. Some of my oldest friends I made in church over 20 years ago. My parents were usually on staff at the various churches we attended, and I have a ton of “behind the scenes” memories of the inner workings of a church. I have been many different denominations. I have attended churches of every size. I have eaten more potluck Wednesday night meals than you have eaten hamburgers.
My story greatly involves church.
It is no wonder why I wanted to recreate a similar experience when I had children of my own. I wanted them to have a childhood steeped in memories of VBS, quirky door greeters, Children’s Church Bible drills and a community that would love them like extended family. Church is important.
But I found, that the more I searched my heart for the reasons why I wanted my children to grow up in church, the more I realized it had little to do with bringing them into an intimate relationship with Jesus. It had to do with teaching them the system. I wanted my kids to know the tradition of church.
I wanted them to learn the importance of sitting reverently while the Pastor preaches. I wanted them to learn the sacredness of the building. I wanted them to experience what Sunday morning/Wednesday night/special services look and feel like.
After all, if I don’t teach them these things while they are young, how else would they grow up to know how to act or what to expect in church services in the future? How would they grow up to know the importance of bringing their Bible and when to stand up or sit down? They would be lost!
Lost.
The truth is that they would be lost if they did not know that Jesus the Son of God died and rose for their sins, taking away the condemnation that we all face and replacing it with His righteousness. Because after all, it is not the building that saves us. It is not our attendance that secures our salvation. It is the radical love of God displayed through His children that draws us to have a deeper relationship with the Creator of their souls.
My husband’s story also involves church. He grew up faithfully attending a congregation with his family nearly every Sunday. He knows the same hymns I do. We were taught many of the same Sunday School lessons. He knows the reverence for the sermon and respect for the pastor. He learned the importance of the fellowship of the body of Christ. But somehow, he sat through all of it, and missed it. My sweet husband explains that he came to know Christ the summer that we met. He says that he didn’t have any understanding of what it really meant to love Jesus and follow Him despite all of the hours that he spent in the building.
The more I talk with others our age, the more I hear stories with the same theme. In the last few months I have heard account after account of individuals who grew up in church and feel as though they missed it. They sat through countless church services and know the traditions, but they do not know Jesus.
I realize now that many attend church and miss God for the process. When it comes right down to it, many services have replaced the intimacy of relationship with Jesus for the step by step instructions of religion.
It was upon this revelation that it hit me. If my children do not grow up in church, I have not failed them. If they do not grow up sitting in pews and singing hymns, I have not failed them. If they do not know what the apostle’s creed and closing benediction are, I have not failed them.
I will only have failed them if I do not teach them to love like Jesus, to advance His Kingdom and to seek to bring Him glory in all things. I would rather my children grow up without the knowledge of a building than without the intimacy of their Savior.
Friends! This isn’t a call to stop going to Church. It is NOT my goal to say that we shouldn’t fellowship with other like-minded believers. Just the opposite!
Church isn’t a place we go. It is who we are. If we enter the building but do not know the love of Christ, we are just as lost as those on the outside. We know the system but we do not know the Savior. We are Christians because His love is evident in our actions. His life is proclaimed in our relationships. His glory is made known in all we do. Jesus said that people will know we are Christians by our love. It is time to stop judging Churches by their size, their reach and their attendance. The only thing that matters is how much the people inside love like Jesus.
It is my hope that my children’s stories will also greatly involve church. But more than the memories of fellowship, I pray that they have a soul that craves to know God, a heart that yearns to passionately serve Him, and an overwhelming desire to share His love with everyone they meet. My hope for my children is to know more than the system. I pray that they will know the real nearness of their Savior.
