So it is January 1st and all across the world people are starting fresh. We have rest our hopes, our aspirations, our plans, and made new resolutions. It is the one time of year when we all say, “Anything is possible. What do I want to change?”
As a momma, however, the reality of our time, our energy and our availability to complete certain resolutions can be…limited.
Look. You’ve got a kid… or kids… and you are often probably exhausted, overwhelmed and just generally without any free-time.
I dunno. Maybe that is just me. But if you are anything like me, you’ve got all these dreams of what you’d love to start or finish this year and like zero time or energy to do it.
Before we go any further, let’s stop right here and agree on something. If you have the desire and drive… anything… even with children… is possible. But that’s not what this post is about. There are plenty of other articles out there this time of year telling you exactly how to accomplish any of those big dreams.
This post is more for the momma who wants to resolve to shower more often or who needs to remember to breathe.
So, here are my top ten resolutions for any mom.
- 1. Stop trying to be her. You know who she is. She’s pretty, perfect, polished and poised… and her house, her marriage, and her kids make you wanna puke. The thing is, you will feel like a complete failure when you set her as the standard for success. Find a mirror, look in it, and say these words, “Good enough. I’m more than good enough.” (Who knows… the more you say those words, the more likely you are to believe them.)
- 2. Give yourself grace.You’re so hard on yourself. Sister, I mean that. You know you are. You might be like, “NO. This lady doesn’t know me. Who does she think she is telling me that I’m hard on myself?” I’m giving you that mom look right now. You know the one you give your kids when they are trying to tell you they didn’t write on the couch with purple marker and they’re holding one in their hand. Busted. So here’s the deal. Be nice to yourself. It’s okay to make mistakes. Your kids don’t need you to be perfect. Or else what need would they have for Jesus. It’s Jesus’s job to be perfect. It is our job to point to Him as often as we can. Teach your kids that you mess up and then you don’t live in constant shame about it. Show them what accepting forgiveness looks like.
- 3. Breathe Can we just stop right here on January 1st and take a deep breath together? I mean it. Deep breath. Again. Annnnd again. (You didn’t do it did you?) Friend, before you yell, breathe. Before you want to lose your mind, breathe. Before you want to take it out on the sales lady at the store, or your kids, or your husband, breathe. I think the majority of the arguments we have could be diffused with taking three deep breaths. Doubt it? Try it.
- 4. Admit that it won’t always be this way. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. A.) The really hard season or thing you’re facing? Eventually, you will get to the other side of it. There is an other side to this thing right in front of you. When you feel hopeless, cling to the truth that one day this will all be behind you. At the same time, as mommas we often miss the best moments because they are so wrapped up in hard. If we admit that it won’t always be this way, then we should also acknowledge that these moments are fleeting. Grab them.
- 5. Embrace small accomplishments. Write a detailed schedule of everything you want to accomplish each day. Tear it up. I have never been super organized, but one thing I still have a hard time remembering is that very few items on my list of “things to do” are actually going to get done each day. I think trying to run errands with two preschoolers and a baby is similar to trying to jog while wearing cinderblock boots… in mud. Not a whole lot of speed involved with either.
- 6. Shower regularly I know that all of you prebaby ladies who have stumbled upon this post are shaking your clean little heads. I can hear you now. Ummmm. We have to make a note to shower regularly? Gross. I’d never let myself get to that point. But one day when your time is not your own, and you trade your adorable Mustang in for a Honda Odyssey (that’s a minivan if you were wondering) you can judge my shower-less body. Until then, just enjoy all those crazy things you get to do – like plucking your eyebrows. Fun fact: I actually said this sentence last week. “No, honey. Actually, I didn’t shower today. I showered on Tuesday.” Only Jesus knows what day I said that.
- 7. Take one solo bathroom break a day. Alone. No questions asked. No visitors. No explanation or prior permission required. I will simply walk to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Because I can. (As long as there is another competent adult who can supervise for five minutes.) Like my children’s father. Surely he can watch them for five minutes. Why have I not thought of this before?
- 8. Make a list of all the things I did to get ready for the day before I had children. Do one of them.I remember vaguely what life was like before I had kids. I would do all of these crazy things before I would dare step into public… Like brush my hair. I cared so much. The thing is, I still care, but often I just don’t have the time necessary to show that I do. So, while I am feeling audacious, I will revisit that list of all the things I did prebaby. Then, I will promise myself to do at least one thing on it. Note to self: Buy hairbrush.
- 9. Look at your husband and tell him that you love him.When we get so caught up with being a momma, we often neglect some of the other important relationships in our lives. If you’re married, make this year one where you put your husband first as often as you can. When the kids are grown and gone, it will just be the two of you. Don’t end up married to a stranger 15 years from now. Here’s a conversation starter for today. “Hey husband? I love you. I see you, and I’m glad we’re in this together.” Friend, if you’re not married, think of your other relationships that have been put on the back burner. Make a point this year to revisit the importance of those relationships as well.
- 10. Pray More.When those sweet little voices are demanding all of us and our list of things that we haven’t yet accomplished is getting longer… Pray. Remember that this isn’t our job. It is our joy. They aren’t our bosses. They are our babies. Only the Lord can give us the strength we need to care for them with tenderness while teaching them love in the process. Above all else, this will bring the greatest change in our lives this year.
Happy New Year, friend! We would love to have you join our ever growing community of grace-filled women! Find us on Facebook!
