We danced in the rain on our wedding day. It was an indoor wedding – but the severity of the storm had blown the rain through the glass doors and onto the floor of the reception hall. The power had gone out many hours before, but from small laptop speakers, we played the only song that we would dance to that night.
The words of the band “Little Big Town” were sweet and simple.
You got someone here wants to make it alright
Someone who loves you more than life right here
You got willing arms that’ll hold you tight
A hand to lead you on through the night right here
I know your heart can get all tangled up inside
But don’t you keep it to yourself
When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me
I meant those words with all of my heart that hot August evening. As I clung to my new husband, terribly in love with him, and terribly afraid of falling on my face, I had no idea that soon would come a day when those words would be too easily forgotten.
It was another hot August evening about a year ago when they came back to my mind. My husband walked through the door after spending his entire day in the blistering Oklahoma heat. I was washing dishes at our kitchen sink, and the kids were playing with toys on the living room floor. The TV was blaring over the running water, the refrigerator door was beeping because someone had left it open, and our house was in a general state of chaos.
I had reached my max level of stress about 2 hours before dinner prep began, and in the middle of passing out pre-dinner snacks, getting actual dinner in the oven, and trying to clean up my disaster of a kitchen, I was having one of those nights where I just wished it was already bedtime.
I remember hearing the door open and catching the reflection of my husband in the kitchen window. I didn’t turn around. The kids ran and hugged him, and I continued the very important task of fighting off a mommy meltdown.
The rest of that night was like many others before it. I served dinner, cleaned my kitchen, and started the bedtime routine. We gave the kids baths, got them into their jammies, and finally after the last hugs were given, made our way to our bedroom.
We hadn’t had a conversation since he had arrived home. Honestly, other than a few short sentences here and there, we hadn’t really talked in the last few days. I had no idea what had taken place during my husband’s day. I had no idea what burdens he was carrying. I had no idea how to help or encourage or even show interest. I was exhausted, and so was he. It felt like an act of love to respectfully choose not to burden the other with our own issues and just go to sleep…
It was then that I caught sight of it – a framed photo with a few of the words to our wedding song. It is a picture that has hung over our bed for years. I didn’t even really notice or pay attention to it anymore.
But sometimes the things that are the most familiar are the easiest to overlook. Aren’t they?
I hummed the tune to myself, and like any song with familiar meaning, it took me back to that slippery dance floor. I looked over at my husband and wondered when I had stopped holding onto him so tightly.
When I married my husband nearly 8 years ago, I signed up to be the only person who would take care of his heart. It was trusted to me alone. No one else would help him carry his burdens. No one else should show him that he is loved. No one else should care more about him than I do.
I realized in that moment the gift that I had overlooked – the responsibility that I had ignored – and the great love that I had taken for granted.
If only someone had told me long ago to never let go of that young boy who I loved so deeply. If only someone had told me how much I would still need to cling to him today to keep from falling on my face.
Before anything, I am Jared’s wife. Choosing to remember the two who began the family will bring more growth to our family than anything else, and letting the Lord restore and continue to lead our marriage will only bring more peace.
… And it is our prayer that the same will be true for you.
[Author’s Note:] I have been asked many times in the last 6 months what inspired my post “To Wives: Before You Were ‘Mommy.’” – This is it… These are the events that led up to that post. It was on this night that I knew I wanted to write something that would help other young mommas remember the importance of being a wife. My continued prayer is that other young families would realize these truths much sooner than I did and see transformations in their homes as well.
