Hey, Momma? You know the way that you decided to do it – the one that went against all of the experts and latest trends? The way that works for you, but just might sound crazy to every other parent you know?
Way to go!
Yup. Way to go. You’re an adult. An adult and a parent. An adult and a parent and a mommy who needs sleep, and rest, and sanity.
You’re an adult and a parent and a mommy who is capable of coming up with solutions to individual problems that are unique to your child, your family, and your home.
So, it doesn’t work for your best friend? Okay. No big deal. But it works for you, right? So what’s the problem?
One of the coolest parts of parenting is that we get to make our own choices. We get to pray and think and decide what is best for those in our care. One of the hardest parts of parenting is dealing with all of the feedback we receive when what is best for us isn’t what is best for the rest of the world.
I gave my oldest a bottle until he was 18 months old. I have an explanation. It was an accident, really. I didn’t hear that I should stop offering a bottle at 12 months and then say to myself… nah, let’s aim for 18. No. That’s not what happened.
At 16 months, my son still wasn’t doing too well with a sippy cup, and I wanted to make sure that he still got the nutrition he needed from the milk. So, we continued one bottle in the morning only. When my daughter was born a month later, it didn’t seem like the right time to take away my son’s bottle, so we waited another month. At his 18 month check-up, I still remember the nurse questioning sternly – “He still takes a what?!” – “A bottle…” I replied like a kid who knew she was in trouble.
If only I could go back stand behind that intimidated version of myself and say, “Yes! I gave him a bottle. We can talk about quitting now, because I agree that it is time, but I will not be made to feel guilty for doing what worked in our house!”
Okay, I wouldn’t really say that because I’m like the least controversial person I know. I get really sweaty palms when I feel like I’ve done or said something wrong… So I would not even hypothetically travel back in time to stand up to that nurse…
But I can stand up for all of you. For you all, I can be brave. I can encourage. I can remind you of your awesome parenting skills, your out of this world brilliance, and your perfect ability to make the best decision for your kid.
So your little guy is using the “wrong” pacifier that will eventually deform his baby teeth? Okay. You’re the mom.
So you thought long and hard about it, and you went with Gerber baby food jars because you just couldn’t balance taking care of your other kids while still making organic, backyard grown, pureed squash? You are awesome!
So you are feeding your kids only whole, non-processed, glutten-free meals? Hey! That’s so great.
So you are cloth diapering? Good deal!
You went with Pampers? Great choice!
Your mom thinks that you need to do everything that you’re doing differently? Try this: “Mom, I hate to break it to you, but you raised a kid that you hoped would grow up and have a strong-will and level head. You got both, and I’m not budging.”
Okay, sweaty palms again. My version might sound more like, “Hey mom, that’s great advice. I’ll think about everything you said.” “And throw it out the window,” I would think silently to myself.
There can be so many competing voices when it comes to parenting. Some solicited and others completely unwelcome. But no matter who is saying what, the most important thing that you can do is follow your heart. Trust in the Lord. And do what works for you.
After all, YOU are the Momma. Not me. Not your best friend. Not your pediatrician. You. And you are more than capable of making awesome, smart, healthy, and wise decisions for your children and your family.
I’m with you, Momma! You’re doing a great job.
