Hey friend,
I know that there are days when it is hard to love that spouse of yours. I know that there are moments when you don’t know how you’re ever going to make it. But I have this idea, and it just might change everything. But first, let me tell you this story.
One night, my husband and I found ourselves in the middle of another stupid argument.
I slammed our bedroom door, and threw myself across our bed like an overly dramatic character in a Disney movie. My husband followed me into our room. “What are you so upset about exactly?”
“That’s the problem! You really have no idea. Do you?” I shouted.
“I would if you told me,” He answered. “Are you really that upset about dinner? I’m sorry I said the green beans were gross, but they were. They were basically raw, and you know that I don’t like crunchy green beans. But I was eating them wasn’t I?”
“No. It wasn’t just dinner! Do you really think we are fighting about food?”
“Then, what was it?” My husband asked innocently.
And I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him because if we are being completely honest, I would have to go back to the day that we began our relationship.
After all, that was the day that the list began. No, it wasn’t written down on paper. It was the list that I didn’t even realize I was making. It was the list of all of the times that he did something wrong, or frustrating or hurtful, and instead of addressing it, I just ignored it and added it to the pile of silent offenses.
Truthfully, at the time, I thought I was doing a good thing. I thought that I was just “letting it go” instead of making a big deal about it. Unfortunately, the way I think that I let things go, and the way that I actually let things go are two different situations all together.
Because without even realizing it, my pile of silent offenses is growing.
– The time that he chose to spend time on his phone browsing Facebook instead of talking with me.
– The time that he didn’t help me give the kids a bath because he was tired even though he knew how tired I was as well.
– The time when we first got married…
– The time when we first moved into our new house…
– The time when we were first new parents…
– The time…
– The time…
– The time…
Until there are nights like the one when he said he didn’t like my cooking, and we end up fighting about green beans – when it wasn’t the green beans at all.
It is never really about the green beans. Is it?
But, friend, what would it be like if we looked at our husbands/wives and saw nothing but love? What if we could go back to the day before they said the hurtful words, broke our trust, hurt our hearts?
What if we could tear up the list?
What would that be like to wake up and pretend like it was our first day as husband and wife… or even our first day dating each other. To wipe the slate clean and instead of responding with guarded hearts and through painful pasts… to treat each moment as if it was the very first time?
Sweet friend, you have so much love to give – and so do they. What if today you decided to just start over?
What if?
Friends, I’m taking this challenge to treat each day with my husband as if it was our first day together. How would I speak to him? How would I interact with him? Would my heart feel differently if we just started again at the beginning?
Sometimes, we can’t go back – but we can choose to start again for the sake of our marriage.
Will you join me? You can either share this post with your spouse or take this challenge without them realizing it… like a secret.
If you want to take this a step further, use the contact form to send me your email address. I will email you a daily challenge!
(Don’t tell my husband, but I started taking my own challenge a few weeks ago… and well, just try it and see what happens in your marriage when you do. It might just be an answer to prayers.)
As always, friends,
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