When we were dating, I liked to imagine what you would be like as a daddy someday. You would do something funny, and I would think, “Awww. See. He’s going to be such a fun dad.” Or you would do something purposefully kind, and I would say to myself, “Yes! He’s going to be the sweetest daddy!”
I would have these daydreams where I would picture little versions of us… maybe a boy with your smile and a girl with my eyes… all living a happy little life together with us as the mommy and daddy.
I was excited about the future. I was excited about starting a family, but we really had no idea what to expect. Did we?
I’m not sure that anyone really knows what to expect before they are handed a baby with the only instruction being, “Good luck.”
There’s so much that no one told us – like how hard it would be.
Many days, I am overwhelmed by it all.
You always try to be so strong, but maybe this whole being a parent thing is as hard for you as it is for me?
You could tell me, you know. I would understand.
I know we don’t get to talk as much as we used to. Gosh. We don’t even see each other as much as we used to. This is a crazy season of life, but honestly there’s no one else I want to go through it with other than you.
You’re doing a great job.
I don’t tell you that enough.
I know that I give you a harder time than I should. You are smart. You are so capable of taking care of our children, and I really need to let you just do it your way sometimes.
Yes. I said that. Out loud. On the internet.
I should let you just be a daddy and stop trying to make you more… well, more like me.
I know that I can trust you and your judgement. So, I’m going to work on remembering this when you are doing all of those things that make me hold my breath or jump in and say, “I’ll just do it.”
I know it drives you crazy when I act like that. I’ll do better.
The thing is… they don’t make parenting manuals. I mean, the hospital sent us home with a ton of reading material, but I’m pretty sure none of it said, “How to be a good wife now that your husband is a daddy.”
But let’s be honest. That would have been super helpful, and I’m sure it would have included, “Don’t make your husband feel like everything he is doing is wrong.”
Because it’s not.
You’re a great daddy.
It’s true that we had no idea what to expect when we became parents, but every day I realize that it is so much more than we ever could have imagined.
See, the truth is? I loved you when you were my husband, but seeing you become a dad to our kids has caused me to love you in ways that I didn’t even understand before.
I am so grateful for the gift of you, and I am so grateful that you are the one that our kids call, “Daddy.”
Thanks for all that you do for us and for how well you love us.
Here’s to the beginning of a happy Father’s Day.
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