Today, I was scrolling through Facebook while my kids played quietly with toys. For the record, I give my kids 100% of my attention. I do not ignore them, but when they are entertaining themselves, I will take my own mental health break and scroll mindlessly for a few minutes through my newsfeeds. (Also, I’m thankful that this page is a no-mom-judging-zone.)
Anyway, Today’s Parents had posted an article about an interview that you had conducted with People Magazine. They were talking about motherhood, and they quoted you as saying, “You feel guilty about every single thing, every decision you make, everything you do.”
And I have to be honest. My first reaction was, Ummm. Carrie Underwood has mom-guilt, and that means that she is just like me. It was a moment where I realized that celebrity status does not change the universal challenges we face the minute that we become mommas. And I actually had this thought, I might not ever sing like Carrie, and can we just not mention her legs? but when it comes to being a momma, well… we are the same.
We both try our best. You know? We worry about the choices we are making… because we are good moms. I try to remind myself of that sometimes. I try to remember that good moms care about how their choices affect their kids. We know we’re good mommas, because we recognize the impact that our choices have on our children.
But, you know, I think there is a difference between being aware that our choices have consequences, and living in fear that we are going to mess up our kids forever. Do you know what I mean?
The truth is, you and I both know that the only way we are really going to find confidence in ourselves as mommas is through Jesus. I know you love Him. You sing about Him, and you’re all… Jesus Take the Wheeeel. (I sang that. You sing it better. Let’s leave that out of this.) But it is true.
When it comes to being a momma, we absolutely have to say, Lord, I need you to help me make the best choices possible. I need you to take control, and just lead me. I need you to help me to trust you, and trust myself. And I need you to help me find a confidence in myself as a momma as I place my mothering in your hands.
I wrote this book. I’m not promoting it. Okay, I am a little, because, I think that it will really help other moms. In the book, I address mom-guilt specifically. I think that there are these fears and lies that we hear as mommas that take over our hearts. They make us feel like we have to do it all on our own, or like being a mom will always be this hard, or like we are failing. But I believe that Jesus is forever reminding us of the Truth. He is always reminding us that we are loved, and we are doing a great job, and that He is proud of us.
And maybe you need to be reminded of that today, friend. (Yes. Friend. Because we are both from Oklahoma, and that means we are basically family.) Maybe people comment on your hair and smokey eye shadow and amazing voice, but maybe you don’t hear as often that you’re doing a great job at this whole momma thing. So, I will say it, because if anything, I’m good at cheering on other moms.
You’re a good mom, and God has trusted you with your sweet baby boy because He knew that you were the best match for him. God knew that He would equip you to love your baby just as he needed to be loved. And that means? So long as you’re willing to keep trusting Jesus, He promises to keep guiding you.
It’s the same for all of us mommas whether we live our lives in the spotlight or not. We are just doing the very best we can, and some days, we just need someone to remind us that our best is good enough.
Yours is.
PS should you actually read this letter, I would love a signed copy of your new album releasing later this month… and I’ll send you a copy of my book. After all, we’re both Storytellers.
Join me and 65K of my grace-filled friends, and follow along on Facebook!
