I yelled. It was the end of the day, and no one was listening to me… and I just yelled. I’m not talking a raised voice or “you are in the other room and can’t hear me so I’m going to shout.”
I yelled.
Get back in here, and help me clean up these toys THIS minute!
I didn’t just say the words, I heard myself saying them. Have you ever experienced something like that? I had time to wonder why I was yelling. To wonder why I was so upset…
I don’t ever want to be the mom who yells. I don’t ever want to be the mom who loses her patience and sends her kids scurrying to do whatever it is she wants them to do right then. But that night, I was.
The truth is, other than yelling, there are plenty of ways that I wish I parented differently. There are so many opportunities for me to get stuck in guilt.
That night, I made a point to try and redeem the evening. I stayed with my four year old as she fell asleep and talked with my little boy about bugs (something he loves to do) before he fell asleep too. I prayed. I sang. I loved on them. And I asked them to forgive me for yelling at them.
But as I walked back across the house toward my own room, I thought, “This isn’t the mom I want to be.” It was late, and I thought about how I would wake up the next day with a clean slate. I looked forward to that. I wanted to start again. But all of a sudden, I heard these words in my heart as clearly as you’re reading mine, “Do not for a moment believe the lie that you have to wait until tomorrow.”
I realized God was offering something right then. I believe He is offering the same thing to you now.
I think sometimes as moms we feel like we need to suffer for a while before we can forgive ourselves. It’s like we try to teach ourselves a lesson – punishing ourselves with guilt. But, friend, that’s exactly where the Enemy wants us. He wants to use guilt to train our hearts to believe that we are bad moms rather than let Grace teach us the Truth.
We let guilt steal our peace and our confidence. We let the fear that we can’t change, kill the hope that God has planted deep within us. And we tear ourselves apart mentally as we replay our worst moments over and over again.
But, sister, I don’t care if you’re reading this at 8:00 o’clock am, or noon, or just before dinner, or well-past bedtime… You don’t have to wait until tomorrow before you start fresh. You don’t have to punish yourself for another few hours before you let yourself get up and get out of that mess you’re sitting in.
Your time-out is over – because God didn’t put you there. He doesn’t want you there. There is no glory in you feeling guilty.
This doesn’t have to be just another blog post. It can be your opportunity for a brand new start. Right now. This second.
God’s the One who continually offers new beginnings. He’s the One that beckons our hearts forward out of shame and condemnation. And He knows…
Your kids need a mom who believes in a God who doesn’t forgive us because we have suffered enough, but who suffered so that we might be forgiven.
So, we are going tackle this issue right now… this minute… before we do one more thing today.
Let’s pray. Lord, we need Your love. We accept Your forgiveness. We choose this moment to be the one where we decide to become the moms we want to be instead of the believing the lie that we don’t deserve a clean slate yet. Free our hearts from every lie. Set us on a path toward Hope. And assure us of Your constant love. In Jesus’s Name. Amen.
Now, back at it, sister. It’s time to be the mom you really want to be… beginning now.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll love my book, Hope Unfolding: Grace-Filled Truth for the Momma’s Heart. You can click the link below to find out more about it!
