Okay, we’ve done this every morning for the last nine weeks. It’s the same classroom, the same teachers, the same kids. We know how the morning will go, and that mommy comes to pick you up after you play outside and you eat your snack. It’s the same every single day. So, today, we’re just going to go in without any tears. Yes? Can we do that? Can we try?
I looked up into the rearview mirror to see the anxiousness wash across her four-year-old face.
I don’t think I can do that, Momma.
I knew I had a choice in that moment. It wasn’t really up to her how the rest of our morning would go. We both knew that she would likely have a hard time just like she has every morning. There were just a few minutes left until school began, and the reality was it was up to me how we would spend them together. How would I respond to her emotions? Would I have grace? Or would I lose my patience?
It’s so hard having a child who struggles with feeling anxious. Isn’t it? More than anything, I just want to tell her, “There’s nothing to be scared of. There is no reason to cry. Stop feeling the way that you do. Just be brave.”
I see all of the other children just run into their classrooms, never even looking over their shoulders to tell their parents goodbye, and part of me feels like I have failed my daughter. Part of me feels like she should be like them. What could I have done differently to make her more like them?
My oldest son, Kolton, never struggled with anxiety. He was the kid who on the second day of kindergarten told me, “Just drop me off outside, Momma. You don’t need to walk me in.”
But the truth is, my daughter is her own person, and her fears and concerns and worries and even anxieties do not make her any less than my son. She sees life differently. She interacts with the world differently. And I can no more tell her to stop feeling the way she does and expect her to do so, than I can tell her to be four inches taller and expect her to grow.
We cannot always just rationalize away anxiety. Sometimes, it just requires longer hugs and an understanding Momma.
So, friend, can I just say this… I know it is hard having a child who struggles with feeling anxious. I know that you worry about them and wonder what you can do to change them. I know you look ahead and worry that they may always struggle….with friendships, with school, with sports, with growing into a healthy and happy adult. And I know that you do everything in your power to try and help them every way that you know best…
But friend, can I just remind you that you have everything you need to parent your child, because you have Jesus – and He’s pretty good at caring for us and caring for our kids. He’s pretty good at leading us, and He’s pretty good at pairing kids with the mommas who can love them best.
I pray so often, “Lord, show me how to bring peace to this moment. Lord, help me to love her the way that she needs to be loved. Lord, give me patience as I gently guide her heart. Lord, come and calm her fears, and bring us both confidence as we continue to trust You.”
So, today, that’s my prayer for each of us and for each of our sweet kids. He hasn’t forgotten about any of us, friend. He has heard every prayer. You’re doing a great job, and today, He just asked that I remind you.
