A sweet friend of mine had a wedding shower this weekend, and I wasn’t able to make it. It was just one of those things where my husband happened to be working out of town, and there wasn’t anyone who could watch all three of my little ones (even for those few hours.)
I was cleaning up lunch when I looked up at the clock and thought it would be about time for the gathering to begin. I used a clean steamy rag to wipe down my countertops while thinking about her and her sweet fiancé hugging friends and gathering gifts… with a type of buzz in the air… an anticipation of everything that is to come. I wished I could be there with them.
It didn’t seem so long ago that Jared and I were sitting in special chairs pulled in front of all of our friends too. We opened gifts and imagined using mixers and towels and placemats in our new home together as we began a brand new life as one. We were so young sitting there on the edge of forever just waiting for our lives to begin.
We’ve only been married a short 8 ½ years, but so much life has been lived since then. We’ve had success and failure sorrow and faith and more fights than we ever saw coming, but we made it. We proved them all wrong.
That’s the thing about getting married young… there are always “them”… The ones that are just waiting for you to fail. You walk down the aisle with the understanding that there will be people who doubt, people who question, people who probably love you more than you will ever know… but with your “I Dos” you commit that you’re going to prove them all wrong. And you will.
So, even though I couldn’t make it to the shower, I sat down and thought about what I wished I had known all those years ago, and I decided to write these thoughts for you, my sweet friends who will be married young.
Being married young means getting to grow into yourselves together. It means discovering not only who you are, but who your spouse is going to be as well. See, you will both change over the next few years. We all do. But being married young means we get to finish growing up with our spouse. So, friend? Grow together, and grow in grace.
There is no greater gift than allowing your spouse to fully become the person that God has called them to be (even if it’s nothing like you imagined in the beginning.) So, cheer for each other’s successes, carry one another during each other’s weaknesses, but above all, have grace for the people that you will become.
Now, some hard truth.
At some point in the next couple years, you might think to yourself, “What was I thinking?” I promise, you’re not the only one. I think most young brides doubt, worry, or question if they made the right choice. Don’t listen to the lie that you didn’t. Don’t fall victim to the belief that there is anyone else out there who would complete your heart more perfectly than that sweet boy you have now.
Because the truth is? Everyone has issues, and you’d just be trading one set of “this thing he does drives me crazy!” for another. Also, we both know that it was never your husband’s job to complete your heart in the first place.
But should you find yourself worried, pray this simple prayer, “Lord, teach me how to love my husband better, and knit our hearts together with You.” (As a matter of fact? Go ahead and pray this prayer from day one.)
If you come to a place that feels rough? Don’t be afraid to seek Godly counsel. Don’t be afraid to ask a pastor or a mentor or a trusted older couple for help. The only problem that can’t be overcome is the one that goes unaddressed. No one will think you are a failure, it will simply prove that you’re committed to making it work.
But while we’re on the subject? When that boy does something that does drive you mad? Don’t gab. Trust me. You will regret it. It might feel awfully good to have your girlfriends agree that you’re right for being upset, but there is nothing more impossible than trying to change how others view your husband. Don’t tear down your house with your own hands. ALWAYS protect your husband’s reputation.
And finally? As you stand there on your wedding day before God and friends and family, remember this…
God doesn’t just show up for the wedding and leave you at the altar. He will be with you every day. He will guide your hearts as one. And it will be His love that holds you together.
So, from someone standing on this side of “making it,” I get to cheer you on and say, “You’re going to make it too, and I’m so excited that your forever is just about to begin.”
Were you married young? Do you know someone recently married or who will be married soon? Share this post to pass it on, and then come find me on Facebook! I try and stay in touch with my readers on a personal level through social media!
