Last night, I stood in the bathroom, pulled my hair up into a ponytail and wiped the makeup off of my face. While this is something I do most nights, last night, I stopped and actually took a moment to consider the face of the woman looking back at me… honestly, I couldn’t believe what I saw.
I used to put makeup on to accentuate certain features. It was more of an accessory, and it didn’t require much – a little blush here, a little eye shadow there, and lip gloss to top it off.
As I wiped my face last night, the makeup felt more like clothing. The layers of blush and foundation conceal so much more life than they used to. With each wipe of the cloth, I realized this truth more deeply.
I’m not as young as I used to be.
Often, I will think about my kids and wonder where the time has gone. I will look at my nearly five year old little boy and think to myself, “I just brought you home from the hospital.” And I will wonder when my three year old little girl got big enough to recognize letters. I will consider how quickly they have grown and become the amazing kids that they are today.
I do the same for my marriage. I will often think back to the first few days of dating my husband and marvel at how much time has passed since then. I asked my husband recently if he could believe that we had known each other for almost ten years. It seems unreal some days.
And while it is easy to recognize the change in my children and in my marriage, for whatever reason, I never take a moment to consider myself.
I forget to stop and realize that while people were being born and relationships were maturing and life was changing – I have been getting older. I have been maturing. I have been changing as well.
And maybe it is because I have been so busy raising babies and taking care of our home and surviving the chaos of life from one minute until the next,… or maybe it is because for the first few years of my kids’ lives I didn’t even bother to look in a mirror.
But for whatever reason, last night, when I stopped, and I really looked at myself, I was startled by what I saw.
I didn’t just see the effects of time and stress. I didn’t just see more wrinkles or aged skin. I didn’t just see a woman older than I remember her being the last time I checked.
Last night, as I stood at the mirror, I saw confidence.
I saw a woman who was once terrified to bring a new baby home from the hospital and now has her face marked with the self-assuredness and pride of a confident momma. I saw a woman sure of her ability to care for her children.
I saw maturity.
I saw a woman who was once unsure of her role as a wife now able to testify to nearly a decade of marriage. I saw growth.
I saw a woman who is brave. Brave enough to trust her decisions. Brave enough to know that she doesn’t have to have all the answers, but has the ability within herself to make the best decisions for her family… and also the strength to do it.
I was surprised by what I saw when I stopped to consider the woman in the mirror. She has grown to be so much more than I realized.
Sometimes, it just takes a looking a little deeper to recognize the beauty in what we have become.
Have you taken a moment recently? Have you stopped to look and realize just how much you have grown as a wife and a mother? Do you realize how far that you have come in just a short amount of time? Because the face of the woman looking back at you might not look like she used to, but she is beautiful. She is strong. She is valuable. She is loved.
Do you know it? Can I remind you? Because it is true. What do you see in the mirror, momma? Because I see an even more beautiful you.
