Why I Let Her Dress Like That in Public

Getting my daughter dressed for school is one of my least favorite parts of my morning routine. Well, that is until today.

Today, I decided to do things a little differently. I guess if we want to be technical, I actually made this decision late last night after my four year old had finally fallen asleep. I had carried a small pile of her clean laundry into her bedroom. I placed it on the end of her bed and began to fold the pieces that would go into her dresser and insert hangers into the items that would hang in her closet.

Dresses with kitty cats and bright orange skirts, little tutus with red hearts and leggings leggings leggings were all being sorted and put away… I glanced over at the items still in her closet…. All of my favorite pieces in her wardrobe… the ones that never need to be washed and folded and put away because… well let’s be honest… she just plain refuses to wear them.

When I found out that I was pregnant with a little girl, I just knew that all of my tiny baby girl fashion dreams were going to come true. Don’t judge. I had a boy first, and let’s be honest… little boys don’t have a whole lot of diversity available in their wardrobes… well… not as much as what is available to a little girl. I couldn’t wait for all of the matching bows and tiny tights and miniature knee high boots. My baby girl was going to look like a walking Pinterest fashion board.

Except… No. That didn’t happen.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. My Kadee is strong-willed. She knows her own mind, and when she sets it to do something, it is hard nearly impossible to deter her.

When she got to the age where she wanted to be involved in choosing her outfits, I knew that there would possibly be a few instances where she might not love what I had selected for her to wear. But I was not prepared for this to happen every blessed morning. Can I give you an illustration? Do you know how frustrating it is to tear off a piece of cling-wrap and keep it from sticking to itself while you attempt to cover your food? It just keeps folding over and getting twisted and its just so frustrating. Right? Let’s just say that every day getting my Kadee dressed felt a little something like that… if you were trying to tear a sheet of cling wrap and cover your food… in a windstorm.

Maddening.

Every day was the same. I would go to her room, pick out something absolutely adorable… outfits that I had spent good money on placing in her closet… and she would examine them cross her arms and declare that she was, “NOT wearing THAT!”

But… here’s the thing. I’m the momma. I get the final say. Right? And I say these are cute clothes. These are Minnetonka moccasins and skinny jeans and flowy tunic tops. These are riding boots and leggings and adorable oversized sweaters. These are tiny converse and an olive colored military jacket…

These are NOT A T-SHIRT WITH ELSA PAIRED WITH A PINK RUFFLE SKIRT AND LIGHT-UP SNEAKERS THAT WERE ONLY EVER SUPPOSED TO BE USED AS PLAY SHOES!

Doesn’t she know that I understand a little bit about style and would just desperately love for her to look… the way I want her to look?!

But something happened last night.

As I was standing in her room folding and putting away all of her favorite clothes, I realized my daughter is four, and every morning I wake up and try to force my kid to look like… everyone but herself.

The outfits I pick out for her are no more Kadee than the Cinderella costume hanging next to them in her closet.

And so I’m done. Not because I’m frustrated. But because I should be the first person to help her find ways to be more like Kadee instead of the first person to force her to look like everyone else. Do you know what I mean? I don’t think there is anything wrong with making suggestions or offering ideas, but I want her to feel heard. I want her to know that her opinions matter.

Soon enough there will come a day when the opinions of others weigh a little heavier on her heart. When what others think will play a bigger part in the decisions she makes.

But I’m thanking God that today is not that day. I’m thanking God that I still have the opportunity to encourage her to know her own mind, to make her own decisions and to trust that she has a Momma who will walk with her through every choice she makes up ahead.

Because the truth is… if she can trust me to shout, “You got this, sweetheart! You are so good at being you” now… then maybe she can remember the echo of those words later when she is making decisions bigger than her outfit.