For the Momma Who Just Can’t Keep Up Monday, January 6th, 2020
I wander around my house and there is continual proof that I can’t keep up. I can’t always keep up with the dishes. I can’t keep up with the laundry-covered guest bed (even when I promise myself I’ll do one load a day.) I can’t keep up with the kids’ bathroom that looks like a truck stop by the end of the day occasionally. I can’t keep up with my creative projects or the discipline/instruction of my children or the maintenance of my marriage or the bathroom counter clutter or the refrigerator that keeps emptying or the mail pile that might have a pink reminder to pay something.
I can’t keep up with what I promise the kids we will do or what I promise myself I will finish or what I started when I had motivation and gave up on when motivation took a lunch break and then called it a day. These little memorials of my inability to keep up feel like mile markers on a marathon that I just can’t finish.
My husband wonders why occasionally I will snap or fuss or bark about something that seems so trivial… and it’s usually because these daily reminders of all I have to do add up, shouting from each corner of my life, “You don’t have it figured out.”
When I add to it this desire to not only be the woman who has it all together, but the woman who can photograph her all-togetherness so that the internet has record of her success…
Can we just not?
Can there be some sort of official club for the women doing their stinkin’ best with laundry everywhere? Can there be a support group where we stand next to one another, look at the work and say “Man, you’re in charge of a lot… I bet that’s hard.” And then can this imaginary everyone’s welcome group make it our official mission to say to each other, “You’re not a failure. You’re not falling behind. You’re not a disappointment. You’re not the only one.”
Because there’s this book called Hope Unfolding where the author (oh that’s me 😉) reminds the members of this come as you are motherhood club, “Jesus is there with you. See him take the guilt and the frustration in the feelings of inadequacy. And then in a beautiful exchange, see him replace all of the heaviness with hope.” And that’s some Truth strong enough to silence the lies that we will never be enough. Right?
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