For the Momma Who Feels Like the World’s Worst

Dec 26, 2019

I have this memory from when my kids were little… they had spent the morning playing with play doh and coloring and reading and dragging out all of their toys and FIGHTING. There had been tons of fighting. I had my four month old on my hip as I put away the dishes when my oldest two (three and five years old) came running through the kitchen.

“Sissy has what I want!”

“No! You can’t have it! Bubby, it’s miiiiine.”

I started with simple reasoning. “Let’s all play nice together…” Which was pretty much the equivalent of just staring at them. And then I tried pleading with them. “Please stop. Just quit fighting. Hey. Guys. GUYS!” And then, I tried threatening everything from early bedtimes to personal calls to Santa if they didn’t stop teasing each other. But as one of them caught the other and shirts were being grabbed and the toy was being wrestled over, I hollered, “That’s it! JUST Stop it! Both of you!”

And they quit fighting, froze, and looked at me for about fifteen seconds in silence before beginning to cry and pleading their case.

I remember feeling like the world’s worst momma for making them cry.

I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I was stretched thin and pushed to my limit. And while I remember getting down on their level and apologizing for raising my voice rather than calming separating the two of them and listening to them individually, somehow the memory of what I did wrong always seems most in focus when I look back.

The World’s Worst Mom.

Have you ever thought those words? You know, I bet moms think it more often than we realize.

When we’re the last mom to pick up our kid from school, or forget that it’s show and tell day, or picture day, or everyone wear red day. When the baby gets ahold of the baby powder, or the toddler finds the permanent marker, or the preschooler finds the scissors and plays hairdresser. When just want a minute alone rather than with a child in our lap, or when we wish we could get that snuggle time back as our kids grow. When we worry our kids have too much screen-time. When we feel like we haven’t connected emotionally to our grown children like we should. When we realize that there are virtually no photos of our second child’s first six months of life. Or just about every time we log onto social media and read about some other “good mom” moment.

The thought, “You are the worst mom ever,” flashes through our mind, and we believe it. We fear it. And sometimes, we joke, as if to take back the power of those words, “Gosh. Am I the world’s worst mom or what?”

But even our playfulness doesn’t hide the reality that under it all we are afraid it might actually be true. It’s what the Enemy of our motherhood wants us to believe. Why? Because if he came make us feel guilty or ashamed or discouraged, then he can steal our hope. He can kill our confidence. He can destroy our view of ourselves, and this? This doesn’t just steal or kill or destroy us… it hurts our families as well.

But do you know what?

Repeating lies a million times still doesn’t make them true.

(I’ll say it again just in case you missed it.)

REPEATING LIES A MILLION TIMES STILL DOESN’T MAKE THEM TRUE.

We are moms who might have hard moments, but we are also moms who sing bedtime songs, and cuddle babies after nightmares, and drive to a million practices, and create a place for our families to gather for dinner, and check homework, and make the doctor’s appointments, and prepare for our kid’s future, and drive around moody teens, and go in to check on our kids night after night just to make sure they are tucked in and warm. We are moms who love with out limit, holding nothing back.

The truth is, what you are is normal. A woman with a great days and not so great days. A woman with great moments and not so great moments. A woman who tries her hardest and loves her family fiercely (whether they notice or appreciate it or not). What you are is a woman who cares whether or not she is doing a good or bad job, and that… that means you are definitely not the world’s worst mom. You aren’t even close. As a matter of fact, YOU are a good mom. Even on the hard days.

So, Lord, today we pray for the momma who has believed the lie that she is a bad mom. She has let her not so great moments define her. She has focused on all she has done wrong, but, Lord, You see how hard she tries and how much she loves her kids. Help her hear Your voice reminding her of all she does well. Help her see herself the way You do – a good mom who is trusting You to help her each day. Push back the fear in her heart and give her peace and confidence in it’s place. We ask in Jesus’s name.

3 Comments

  1. As a mom of 4 I relate so much to this post. Thank you for helping me realize that it’s okay to forget picture day or wacky tacky day be cause at the end of the day I’m doing my best and I give 100% to my family. God bless you!

    Reply
  2. I really needed to read this. It’s a nice reminder that other moms feel the same. I have a lot of chronic health issues which means I have limited mobility and can’t drive or work. And it’s just me and my 14 son with autism and medical issues of his own! So I just can’t be the mom I always wanted too. I just try to look at the result of what I have done. He has great morals and he’s so loving and empathetic. He’s sweet and smart. So anyway thank you for showing me how much other moms feel this. Kelly

    Reply
  3. Yes! A resounding amen to all of this!

    “We are moms who might have hard moments…” This is such a good point and an important distinction! Hard moments are normal but don’t make us bad moms and the fact that we feel bad about them indicates that we are definitely not bad moms – we’re moms that care! Mommin’ is such a hard job and this whole post is such a good reminder! Thank you for sharing!

    Anna Marie
    unhurriedmom.com

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

I’m a best-selling author and full-time work at home momma writing and raising my family with my husband, Jared, just outside of Nashville. I connect women with real hope.

more categories
pre-order

my new book

in stores and online 3.31.20

midnight mom devotional

365 prayers to put your momma heart to rest

There is something about a quiet house in the midnight hours that causes stress and anxious thoughts that have been ignored throughout the day to rise to the surface of a mother’s heart. We understand how lonely and overwhelming those late-night hours can be. That’s why we wrote Midnight Mom Devotional: 365 Prayers to Put Your Momma Heart to Rest.

read the latest

from the blog

What I Wish They Had Told Me Before I Had My Baby

What I Wish They Had Told Me Before I Had My Baby

The warm sun shone through the nursery window as I rocked my 5 day old in a plush aqua colored glider. I had rocked in that chair for weeks before my son arrived hoping he might become accustomed to the feel of it. I thought that maybe if he got used the gliding...

read more
For the Momma Who Doesn’t Know What She Feels

For the Momma Who Doesn’t Know What She Feels

I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I'm tired of sorting through facts and opinions and emotions. I'm tired of weighing all the options, finally making a choice, and then second guessing myself immediately. I'm tired of the tension and the stress out there in the...

read more
For the Momma Who Wants Her Joy Back

For the Momma Who Wants Her Joy Back

A few years ago I had a conversation with my son that highlighted an area of my heart which needed Jesus's help. We were standing in the kitchen when my son, then seven at the time, said, “I’m sorry this is so frustrating, Mom." I should have thanked him, but instead...

read more
For the Momma Who Wonders if Anyone Notices

For the Momma Who Wonders if Anyone Notices

I was painting my bedroom, a project that was taking much longer than I anticipated, and it was getting closer to dinner and bedtime. I'd have to put off the rest of the painting until after my three kids were asleep for the night. I was just about to wrap up the...

read more
For the Momma with BIG Questions Right Now

For the Momma with BIG Questions Right Now

There used to be very few “BIG” questions in my life. Sure, there were some personal things that my husband and I were trying to make some decisions about, but in our day to day life? I had to decide what we were having for dinner and if my kids were spending too much...

read more
For the Momma Struggling with Comparison

For the Momma Struggling with Comparison

My kitchen is not one where you’ll find much design inspiration. There isn’t a trendy tile backsplash or gray and white quartz countertop. The appliances are likely original to the house. And I’m guessing the faucet is too. This house is a rental, and while it doesn’t...

read more
Parenting in a Pandemic

Parenting in a Pandemic

So you’re parenting in the middle of a pandemic. Gah. None of us planned for this. Did we? It’s the worst. Being a mom on a regular Thursday was hard enough. Mom in the middle of a global crisis with civil unrest on a Thursday halfway through a year that has been...

read more
For Those Who Feel Afraid Right Now

For Those Who Feel Afraid Right Now

Me: Okay, God, here's the thing. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am. God: I know. Want to talk about it? Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know. God: Let's talk about it anyway... We've done this before. Me: I know, I just feel like I should be bigger or...

read more
To Sum Up This Week in the US for Moms…

To Sum Up This Week in the US for Moms…

What is Normal Anymore? All three of my kids had confirmed cases of Influenza A the week before the coronavirus (COVID-19) was diagnosed in our area. All three of them were running 103-104 fevers for nearly five days. I scrubbed my hands raw from the endless washing,...

read more
Today We Pray for Our Nation

Today We Pray for Our Nation

Father, we have called ourselves a nation under Your authority, God. As Your children and as people called by Your name, we believe Your Word. You told Your children in 2 Coronicles 14:7 (KJV), "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and...

read more
I Taught Them About the Virus… and This

I Taught Them About the Virus… and This

This afternoon, I asked my three young children to sit down on the rug in our living room, and I positioned myself across from them. They were diagnosed with Influenza A last week, and the dark circles under their eyes reminded me that their bodies were still...

read more
see what’s happening

instagram

[instagram-feed]

Get IN Touch

jared@beckythompson.com

Follow Me

Community

Midnight Mom Devotional on FB
Midnight Mom Local Chapters

error: Content is protected !!