It takes a special kind of momma to raise a strong-willed child. It takes a certain endless amount of grace to continually define the lines of what is and isn’t acceptable all while your child ceaselessly pushes back. It’s hard work marking the same boundaries a million times a day.

I know that it’s exhausting.

I know that most days you worry you aren’t capable of handling this job. You may have other children who obey easily – or maybe a friend has children who cooperate when first asked – and you wonder, “Why does this child of mine have to make it all so much harder than it has to be? Why can’t they just…. Listen.”

The truth is, while you’d love for them to be just a little less demanding, deep down you know that their fiery determination is a good. Mommas of strong-willed children know the traits which make most days feel endless, also mean that our children will also grow up to be motivated, determined, leaders.

Because when they are grown, we hope that they won’t take “no” for an answer… We hope they will ask why things are the way they are in the world rather than simply accepting them. It’s while they are little that we just want them to let no mean no… at least once a day (preferably while in public.)

As a momma raising leaders, I know the road you’re walking. I know how hard it can feel. And I know that you might not just be exhausted, you might be afraid too.

Perhaps you’re afraid that somehow your parenting caused this. Or maybe you’re afraid of being misjudged by other moms. Or maybe you’re just afraid it won’t ever get any easier.

I understand, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry it has been so hard, and sometimes lonely, and overwhelming.

But, momma, can I tell you how this turns out?

Deep breath. It turns out better than you think.

God knew what He was doing when He gave you that sweet baby (whether your baby is two or twenty-two).

He knew that you (with His help) would know just how to love your child, lead them, and set the boundaries to shape them. He knew that within you were all of the traits and characteristics of a woman who would raise a determined adult, a confident thinker, a child who would find the Lord at a young age and not be easily swayed from following Him.

God knew that you would recognize the fierce passion and fire that burns in your child’s heart as something to cultivate cautiously rather than put out or contain. And He knew you would understand that too much fire is dangerous, but a perfectly positioned flame is the most powerful thing on earth. It ignites movements, kindles hope, warms the lonely, and burns away all the garbage that everyone else ignores.

It’s hard work raising a world-changer. It’s hard work when it looks like a tantrum from your toddler at Target or a melt-down from your middle schooler at the mall. It’s hard work when it doesn’t seem like fiery determination placed with your child by God but instead flat out disobedience triggered by the devil himself.

It’s hard. But you can do this.

You might have a strong-willed child, but you are a strong mom, with a strong God, and He knows exactly what He’s doing.

Lord, help this momma! Give her an extra measure of grace. Fill and refill (and refill again) the places within her where she feels like she has come to the end of herself. Give her more patience, more joy in this journey, and a fresh confidence in her ability to love her child perfectly as You pour out Your endless love for her and through her. We ask in Jesus’s name, Amen.